10 ways to raise independent children

It seems like every time I look at my children, they have grown somehow. Their shoes are too tight or jeans are either too long to be capris or too short to be pants. That lets me know that the inevitable is happening and they are growing up on me. As hard as it is too accept the fact that my babies are growing up, my husband and I have to do our duty and raise them in a way that will prepare them for adulthood. For me, that's making sure that they are able to make good, sound decisions.

So here are 10 ways to raise independent children.

1. Give them choices. My children pick out their clothes everyday. Now, I might give them guidelines or veto an outfit due to size, clashing colors or just "no" reasons, but I let them express themselves thru their choice of clothing.

2. Let them make their own lunches. I used to make the best lunches for my kids. There would be a protein, some fruit, veggies, a healthy snack and a fruit drink. My lunches were so bomb that I would get complements from their teachers- no lie- about how great they were and other parents should use me as an example. But, as good as they looked when I sent them to school, they would come back barely eaten when the kids got home. They didn't eat them, so I felt they would appreciate it more, or at least eat more if they made their lunch themselves.

3. Make them clean their own rooms. While I usually do a deep spring and fall cleaning of my kids room to get rid of old toys and clothes, they clean their own rooms majority of the time, including vacuuming and wiping the mirrors down.

4. Spend time with them. We have a family game night or movie night at least once a month. Right now our favorite game is Jenga Throw and Go, but our last movie night watching the latest Lego Movie ended with us all falling asleep. We saw Boss Baby at the theater, that was good though.

5. Be honest with them. I never want to give my kids the impression that they can't come to me for the truth. Even if I feel that a conversation is not age appropriate, I will let them know. I just tell them that they are not the right age yet, and when they are we'll talk. I've been able to dodge the birds and bees conversation so far with this line, but we graze the topic every now and then.

6. Have them help you cook. I often bring my kids in the kitchen to help me. We usually bake so that I can show them the difference between measurements and how to follow a recipe. We're still working on cracking eggs without making a mess, but we'll get there.  

7. Let them order their meals while out. Whenever we take our kids out to eat we have them order their own meals. To me, this teaches them decision making skills and basically how to talk to people in a public setting. I can't stand when I hear teenagers mumble their way thru life. It makes me want to scream- Speak up! And get some act right!

8. Reassure them that they have a voice and its important to be heard. This kind of piggy backs off of the previous statement that kids need to know that what they have to say is important to, as long as they are respectable of other people. During our family meetings, my kids have the opportunity to have the floor and give their opinion about a new rule or offer plans for the next family game night. This gives them confidence in voicing their opinion and lets them know that they are valued. We will not just disregard them because they're kids.

9. Stop negative talk. Have you ever done something so dumb, that you literally say it out loud to yourself, "Girl, you dumb"? Well, it was a small habit I had to break when I heard my kids doing the same. Even though I would only say it to myself as a reminder to get it together, I didn't want them to internalize it as truth. Everybody makes mistakes, but talking negatively about ourselves or others is not allowed. 

10. Love them  unconditionally. This should be a given, but as parents we have to remember to love our kids thru the good and the bad. Thru the laughs, the tears, the good or bad grades, the hugs and eye rolls, we have to help guide them with love. 

Bonus- Let them go. I'm selfish with my kids. After many years of arguing gentle persuasion, I finally let my kids travel without myself or my husband. They went down South for NINE DAYS and I am anxiously waiting for their return. I know that they are kind, smart, no nonsense kids and they always have angels watching over them, so they are going to be just fine. It just took me a while to realize that I could never put their true independence to the test without giving them an experience to use it.  

So shout out to all the parents who are raising their kids to be independent, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Forever Loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda

Girl, let it go

 

When I tell y'all that God has been working on me the past few week-ends, I mean it. I feel physically and mentally drained from fighting against myself. But, since  I am absolutely sure that there's a blessing in the pressing I will continue to press on. 

Here's a little back ground. For the past few months my husband and I have been arguing like clockwork every Friday evening and basically ruining the whole weekend for everybody. I mean, it had been without fail. If we managed to slide thru Friday night unharmed, Saturday morning had something waiting on us. Why? Who knows. What would we argue about? Everyhing. Was it worth arguing about? Of course not. I remember one day being all hot and bothered and was waiting for him to come back home so I could give him a piece of my mind and for the life of me I couldn't even remember what I was originally mad about. That's when I realized it wasn't nothing but the devil.

I live for the weekends, especially Friday's and Saturday's because those would be our date nights. But, who wants to spend quality time with someone they arguing with? Not I. 

Lucky for me, I stumbled upon a book that was featured on the Bible app and it has been opening my eyes to the myths that we think are true about marriage and how to come to terms with dispelling them.

In addition to that, my church has started their Fight For The Family teachings again and they had a couple come in and tell their story at bible study. Listening to their story, I left really inspired to make my marriage work. Now, we are and always will be on #TeamStayTogether, but I had kind of excepted our relationship the way it was. In all transparency, sometimes it was just miserable. 

So I made the decision to just let it go. This is a hard thing for me y'all. I can not- not say what I am feeling. I tried it, it don't work. I am adult enough to admit that the reason why it doesn't work most of the time is because I'm not just trying to make a point, I'm trying to make THE point of all points in time. Ok, there I said it. But, I was determined to pass the test this time. 

I will admit, I failed the first time though. Long story short my husband popped a pimple on my sons forehead. Fact #1. This was his first pimple. Fact #2. I bought him a whole skin care line of stuff to start taking care of his face because I saw it coming. Why? Fact #3. I am a licensed skin care professional, hence the blog and former business. So I felt a certain kind of way about it. And in true Rhonda fashion I had to address it. That conversation went something like this:

Me: Why you do that to his face? You could have asked me about it first.

 

Him: If I want to pop a pimple on my son face, I'm gone pop a pimple on his face

 

.

Me: .....

 

Him: .....

 

After a 20 minute discussion, we finally concluded that all I was asking for was a little communication. 

If you come to a peaceful conclusion, that's called winning. Lol.

 

Most of the time when an argument happens over something so small and trivial, it's usually about a deeper situation. This one happened to be about the lack of communication, but instead of me going from zero to 100, I've been asking myself what I'm really mad about and if it's really worth the argument. 

I'm still a work in progress. Pray for me, y'all. 

What is something you struggle with in your marriage?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty, 

Rhonda

My Myers Briggs personality type

 

A few weeks ago I was obsessing on Pinterest like I often do, and I stumbled across a pin that talked about the Myers Briggs personality types and I was intrigued. I read about a few of the types and it didn't take me long to do a self analysis and figure out which one fit me.   

It was developed as a way to see how people perceive the world and make decisions. It is often used as a team building or self improvement excersise and since

I always to consider myself a work in progress, I decided to give it a go. 

So there are countless amounts of free online tests that you can take, just ask my homegirl Google (yes, she's a female cause we women know everything.) But, I decided to just answer based on the information I saw. 

There are 4 parts to it. The first part is about your interaction with the world: Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrevert? Introverts prefer to work alone or in small groups, where as extroverts love to be around a lot of people.

Introverts also focus on their thoughts, or inner world more. 

Introverts chose- I. Extroverts choose- E.

Part 2 is about how you absorb information. Intuitives can gather imformation, interpret with meanings and give it many possibilities. Sensory people use fact and details and see it as common sense.

Intives choose- N. Sensory choose- S.

Part 3 is about how you make decisions. Feelers make decisions based on how they feel. Thinkers make decisions based on logic. 

Feelers choose- F. Thinkers choose- C.

Part 4 relates to structure. Judgers tend to be organized and results orientated. Perceivers are multi taskers  and like to keep their options open. 

Judgers choose- J. Perceivers choose- P.

There are 16 available personality types and I determined that I am an INTP personality with the cheat sheet below. 

 
Nicknamed "The Professor", INTP's are inventive thinkers that thrive on being creative and unique. They make up only 3% of the population, according to my research and they are known for being honest, direct and intelectually curious. On the flip side, they are are also known as withdrawn, emotionally detached, and tend to second guess themselves so much that most of their projects never see the light of day.

Here are some other traits that INTP's have:

• Quiet and contained
• Analytical 
• Laid back
• Imaginative
• Explosive 
• Distrusting of others 
• Happier as freelancers and entrepreneur 

Oh my gosh, this is me. I had always wondered why I  would research something into the ground, come up with a good idea and then never follow thru. Or why I can pick out a lie with facts and details pulled and filed from previous conversations. Or why I have that "I got nothing" look whenever I'm put in a situation that would normally require emotions. It all makes sense to me now.

Of course, not all the descriptions are completely accurate, but it's interesting to know that there is a method to the madness. If you would like to learn about you personality type, please click here for more info. 

That's my personality type, what's yours?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda 

How to set goals and achieve them

 

It's May and we are almost at the mid way part of the year. When I think about the goals I set for myself and my family, I'm glad that I've accomplished a good portion of what I set out to do. I may have fallen by the wayside on some things, but the good news is, I still have time- and so do you.

I am a list maker. It is an obnoxious, yet necessary habit that I've had probably since college.  If I have to run errands, there's a list of places I need to go. I keep my my bi-monthly budget handy in list format in one of my many journals. And I dare not go to the grocery store without my list and meal plans for the week. My purse and journals are full of sticky notes with illegible words scrambled on them. List's make me feel organized and keep me on tract despite my self-inflicted distractions.

My list making is not only for errands, I feel that making lists of life goals are important as well. Whether it's something I want to do next week or next year, when I write it down, it makes it concrete. It makes it more than just something I said and turns it into an actual goal.  And when I break it down into attainable steps, it makes it easier to achieve, instead of this thing that is just looming out in the atmosphere. As they say, a goal without a plan is just a wish. So let me give you some real simple tips on how to set goals and actually achieve them.

Step 1: Figure out what you want and write it down.
Have you every had that "what do you want to eat conversation?" You know that your hungry, but don't know what you're hungry for. It seems simple, but sometimes we just don't know what we want in life. Just sit for awhile and think about the things that would improve your quality of life. Do you want a new job, or to lose weigh tor take that family vacation? Do you want to change your financial status or go back to school? No matter what it is, big or small, write it down. Whether it's something that you feel is attainable or is a one in a million chance of happening. Just by you writing it down, you are starting the process of the law of attraction. Those things that you put out in the atmosphere will be drawn to you.

Step 2: Break it down.
When I looked at my list of goals, I couldn't let it overwhelm me. One of the items on my list was to get in better shape. I know that I wasn't going to magically wake up and be several pounds down. There was going to have to be not only a plan involved, but some effort and sweat equity. So I had to break it down to baby steps. It looked something like this.

Get in shape!

1. Clean Eating- at least 80% of the time

      a. Cook more, no buying food at work
b. Take-out only on week-ends

2. Work out

a. Mon, Thurs, Sat

b. Cardio, weight train, yoga, dance

3. Less stress

a. Take time to read and meditate

b. Weekly facial or bougie bath on Sundays 

So after I practiced one step, I went on to the other. It didn't matter that it took me probably four months of eating better before I started working out. As long as I did it. Which brings me to the next step.

Step 3: Be consistent.

This is the part that most people struggle with. It's cool when you first start out and you're excited and on a mission, and then out of no where the magic fades and you don't feel as enthusiastic as you did when you first started out. So you slow down a bit, and casually make your way thru life and the next thing you know, you don't even actively work on your goal anymore. So this is where you have to be intentional about creating a good habit in your life. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so when I am trying to create good habits in my life, I trick myself into being addicted to that thing for 21 days in hopes that it sticks and stays in my way of life.  

Step 4: Reward yourself along the way.
Who says your hard work and effort has to go un-rewarded? Little victories should always be celebrated, if only to keep you motivated for the next celebration. Not that I needed outside approval to verify that my weight loss journey was working, but when people started to notice the change, I treated myself to some more weight loss equipment, I bought two yoga balls (different sizes) and some thigh slimmers for the #NoThunderThighs movement.

Step 5: Be okay with setbacks.
Of course, my plan to workout 3 times a week didn't always happen. There is always something going on in my life, so maybe I skipped a workout due to a choir rehearsal, or I had to take my kids somewhere, or maybe I just was too tired. It's okay if it doesn't go exactly as planned, the important thing is to get it together once things get back to normal.

The time is now to get out of your comfort zone. How can you see who you were destined to be if you're not willing to push yourself past your self-induced limits. Get it together, write it down and make it plain. I got yo back and I believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda 

Under attack in my own home

 

My family is under attack.  We were busy living our lives and we ignored the signs. Deep down I knew it would happen eventually, but not to this magnitude. All I remember about the day it started are the screams, the terror and the fear. It was on a bright Tuesday morning that we realized that our peace of mind was being challenged and our lives would never be the same. It was on this day that spiders tried to overtake our home.

Anybody who knows me, understands my feelings towards bugs of any kind. I hate them. I have a physical reaction of fear whenever I see them and if I had it my way, they all would be dead. We had seen the warning signs: the weather was getting nicer, we were getting exterminator literature in the mail, and the biggest sign of all- we would cross paths with spider webs in our laundry room quite frequently. Maybe it was denial, or maybe I just didn't want to face the fact that we were going to have to one day acknowledge them and either let them take over or hand over the money to get the house sprayed. 

It really started Monday night when a huge black ant was crawling all over the top of my dresser. He was moving really fast over my books I had lined up in the storage compartment. I called my husband in to "take care of him", and he did, while also looking to see if any of his friends were lurking around. He was alone so that was the end of it, so we thought.

The next morning, while preparing breakfast for my family I spilled blueberries all over the floor. While I was sweeping them up, I saw a huge white spider amongst the fallen and I moved a couple to the side so that I could crush him under my feet. As I was emptying the blueberries into the trash can, my daughter let out a scream that was so terrifying that I thought that Michael Myers, Jason, Freddie and the killer clowns were all standing in my kitchen. I turned around and saw her pointing to the wall that separated the kitchen and the dinning room. The spiders must have heard about the ant going out by himself and decided to bring reinforcements. There he was, another huge white spider and he was angry. He saw what I had just done to his boy so he was frantic and running all over the place. He tried to get away and ran from the wall onto a tote bag that was in the corner of the dinning room. I still had the broom in my hand so without hesitation I swept him to the floor and stomped on him hard. I could feel his body being crushed through my flexible house shoe.

After I went to scrap the remains of the two dead bodies off my shoe into the trash bin I looked at my purse, which was located right next to the tote bag. I saw something there, but wasn't sure. My purse is blue and there seemed to be a beige spot on it. Or is it a shadow? The only light I had was the one from the kitchen, so I turned around, flicked on the light and stared back at another spider. He didn't run like the last one did. He just looked back at me. For about 5 seconds we just stared each other down, waiting for each other to make the move. I noticed my purse was open so I decided it was time to make a go for it before he decided to run towards it and hide out amongst my bank cards and lip gloss. I swept him to the ground too, and he received the same fate as his homies. They thought from past experience that if they came out in a group and triple teamed me that I was going to be scared and run. They thought they had a punk on their hands. But, they found out that when it comes down to protecting my babies, I am a savage and I will not back down until I get every. single. one.

So to the spiders, tell the rest of your family, your cousins the ants, the centipedes, the big fat rolley polley bugs I don't know the names for, and those insects with the pinchers on the end, I am not playing no games with y'all this year. You step up to me, you will get dealt with. I will not be defeated. This is your last and final warning. Oh, and sorry for your loss. #savage

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

Edit note- At press time, the house had been exterminated by my husband who set off foggers instead of calling specialists due to being cheap high costs. 

30 Day Challenge: Days 11-14

Day 11: My Family

The only people who truly know me and who I am totally capable of being myself around is my family (and the friends who grew up like family). They have seen me laugh, cry, act a fool, embarrass myself, redeem myself, embarrass myself again and have supported me through every victory and failure. They are the silliest, craziest people you can ever be around and there are many times that we forget to take pictures because we're having so much fun. Long story short, my family is the only group of people who I will fight with and fight over at the same time.

Day 12: Five Guys whom I find attractive

In no particular order, here are the guys who can get it I consider eye candy.

1. Usher- I've been a fan since day one. 

2. Jessie Williams- I could say that the eyes alone won it for me but, not only is he an excellent actor, but he also has stood at the forefront of the Black Lives Matter movement.

3. Lance Gross- That smooth coffee-bean black skin and that smile. That's all that needs to be said.

4. Idris Elba- He's chocolate, fine with that salt and pepper hair AND he has a British accent. Girl, bye.

5. Chanting Tatum- If you haven't seen the way this man moves, do yourself a favor and watch Magic Mike. You're welcome.

Honorable Mention- Michael Ealy- Once again, those eyes just do something to me. Although, he has been playing crazy so good, I'm starting to wonder. 

Day 13: My Opinion About My Body

It took me a while to get here, but I can honestly say that I love my body. Could it use some minor adjustments, yes. But, it's nothing that a few weeks of working out couldn't fix. But, as far as my shape, the color and texture of my skin- I'm good. I have finally come to the conclusion that I better enjoy it now because I turn 35 this year. I hear that it's downhill from here so I'm keeping it positive. 

Real talk I knew I was getting happy with my body when I stopped wearing Spanks everyday. I have always loved my brown skin, but it took me some time to be at peace with my roadmaps to heaven, or what most people call stretch marks. I love the skin I'm in and flaunt it proudly. 

Day 14: What I wore today 
So today I felt a little springy. It's April in Michigan and although I should be able to go jacketless, it's still cool out so I decided to wear a sweater over my dress. It actually worked out nice and has now become one of my favorite layered outfits. So, here's the deets on the clothes:

Dress- Bought from Burlington (I think) a couple of years ago. It is so bright and while my introvert self hates when I get all these stares while wearing it, my perform/ model in a past lifetime self knows how to work it.
Sweater- Thrifted this dELia*s beauty for two dolars and some change at Value World last month.
Shoes- These Grasshoppers I bought from DSW are sooo cute and comfortable. They will definitely be my go to spring dress work shoes. My only challenge is to keep them clean.
Accessories- The belt is a few years old, purchased at Lane Bryant and the earrings and neckalace are from my fav jewelry place- Charming Charley's.

Well, That's it for now. Until next time.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda 

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Tomorrow is our 10th anniversary and I am so surprised happy that we made it this far. Our story is 20 years in the making, with many more to come. To commemorate this milestone, I made a video. Take a look and experience the best story ever told.





Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids (and My Husband),
Rhonda

My Life in Photos: May 2015

1. Forever the actor/ wannabe model, I posed this pic for my mental awareness posts this month. If you haven't done so already, please check them out.

2. Just one of the many perks of being in a committed  relationship and having a warm body next to you at night. I sometimes complain about the bear hug when it's hot, but when he doesn't do it, the next morning I be like, "what's yo problem?" I'm complicated like that.

3. Another perk of being married is that I can be myself with no apologies. Sometimes my husband can't do nothing but laugh at me. This time it was because I pretty much said screw our budget and I took his "lol" as approval.

4. My baby got his medal for flag football.  They didn't place in the top 3 and I doubt if I'll be able to talk him into playing next year, but I'm so proud of my big baby. He proved himself to be a team player, a quick learner and a pretty good running back. If you look closely you can see what looks like a smile. 

That's my life. What's happening in yours?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

Being a Plus Sized Beauty

I'm proud to be a plus sized girl. I love my curves and believe that I'm thick in all the right places. I have even learned to except my stretch marks. Like Madea says, "they the road map to heaven", so you better act like you know. But, no matter how much I embrace my thickness, there are still some things that are not necessarily problems, but slight struggles for a thick girl like myself.

Pants/ Jeans- I haven't had a thigh gap since I was a toddler, so I have a love/hate relationship with pants. One thing I can say about buying a good pair of jeans is that when I rub the thighs together to the point where they are nearly transparent, I can easily turn them into shorts. 

Tight Jackets- I am at a weird size. I'm too big to fit a large and too small to fit an extra large. Do you know how many blazers I have that fit me perfect at the waist but I can't button up past my bust? And who can forget the jackets that are tight in the arms and make me feel like the Incredible Hulk all day.

Walking in heels- Listen, I am knocked kneed and flat footed so to see me walking in some heels is like seeing Peter walking on water. I don't choose my heels by color, I choose them by how long I can wear them before my foot starts looking like a popped can of biscuits. My closet consists of a lot of 3 hour shoes that I usually back up with some flip flops. But, just like a woman, I can not stop myself from buying a cute pair of heels.

Shapers- Part of me wants to rid myself from the sausage casing called a body shaper because I'm sure in some countries they can be considered a form of torture. But, I also hate to see muffin top, dimple booty and back fat, so a girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Even today as I write this I am wearing a shaper underneath my dress. I may not have any back fat showing but it sounds like I'm wearing corduroys.

Food Shaming- I have been on many a diet, detox and exercise routine. I can and have lost tremendous amounts of weight, but it never fails, I always gain it back. So I decided that I am done with forcing myself to suffer to be back at square one a couple months later. I love food too much, and I am not bout to deprive myself the pleasure of something satisfying to fit somebody else's image of beauty. And although I am currently working on some flabby bits, I am happy with me. One brownie is not going to make a difference, and neither is one salad. I chose to live in moderation. So please know that when you go out to eat with me, you can have a salad if you want to, but please don't hate while I get my life from this pasta. I'm going to also need another bread basket. Please and thank-you.

Peer pressure- My co-workers be at work talking about their daily protein drinks, comparing the number of steps they take everyday and swapping healthy slow cooker meals and I be like, well, I'm bout to just eat this cookie right here. I respect every ones right to eat healthy, but I will not be subject to the side eye given because I choose a carb lifestyle.

Of course, I'm just being silly with that last one. While it is important to lead a healthy lifestyle, everybody wasn't made to be a size 2, and a smaller size does not automatically mean you are healthy. One of the goals with my business, Soul Deep Beauty, has always been to help women maintain a positive body image and to love the skin that your in. True beauty is more than skin deep.

Share some of your plus sized struggles. Remember, we're in this together.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

May is Mental Health Awareness Month- My Personal Story

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention tools for those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This is part 1 of a 3 part series I'm doing this month about mental health. I originally thought about writing a post about mental health and depression back in December when I heard the news about natural hair company Miss Jessie's co-founder Titi Branch died by suicide. It reminded me that no matter what incredible thing is happening in someones life, no one knows what's really going on at home. I thought she had it all: she was a beautiful and smart lady, she ran a successful business with her sister and it seemed that there brand was all about self confidence and embracing the natural you thru your curls. But, obviously there was something deeper that burdened her.

It's not something that I talk about, and actually the only person that really knows I was going thru something at that time was my husband, who was then my boyfriend. During my first year of college I went thru a period of depression. I had a real hard time adjusting to college life- I cried all the time, I was lonely and I lost weight- enough that per my mom, my grandmother wanted to pull me out of school. I had never been a person who couldn't make friends, but I just felt lonely. And no shade to my friends and family but my interpretation of their support was lacking. I wound up coming home almost every weekend because I just couldn't stand the isolation. I don't know what shifted and took me from being my normally head strong and confident self.

I kept my depressive state mostly to myself because it wasn't anything that I felt was clinical. I was still able to go about my daily grind, but it was after my classes, after whatever rehearsal or meeting I had and in those night hours of solitude that I had lonely moments. I did go to a dark place and it was hard for me to think positive. I wondered what's the point of all this if I have to do it alone. 

My saving grace was that I was in activities on campus that kept me focused on the good things in life. I was able to help plan events for our school through the activities committee and I increased my faith while singing in the gospel choir. I had to learn to love me first so that I can be available to receive love from others.

Unfortunately, I did go through this again in more recent years. The last time I felt this way was after my 30th birthday. I felt like I was living somebody else's life and I was questioning all the decisions I had made in my life.  I was the mother of two small children, my marriage was holding on by a thread, my business was not doing well and there were some days where I just couldn't even get out of bed. I felt like there would be no end to my misery, I once again felt lonely and overwhelmed and unappreciated. And like always I went on like nothing was wrong. 

So what did I do? Eventually, I seeked out help. I once again joined a choir and became a faithful member of my church, my husband and I received marriage counseling and even though I did wind up closing my business, at least I can say I had one. For me, it was just about forward movement and keeping this thing called life going, no matter what road blocks came. I also had to learn that if I let the actions, or in-actions of those around me dictate how I felt, then my self- worth wasn't where it needed to be. It all starts and ends with me.

For help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or go to crisiscallcenter.org.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

My Life in Photos

1. My son had a day with the boys at his friends house last week-end. So we took little mama to Orange Leaf for some frozen yogurt. As can be expected she was all smiles. Who can be mad when froyo is involved?

2. I love when the weather is warm enough to be on the Detroit Riverwalk. I've been about 3 times in as many weeks. Once, to sing at an event our choir was invited to at the Detroit Marriott, then I went to the Praise Fest at Hart Plaza, and again last week between work and rehearsal. If they start having food trucks out there I'll never leave.

3. The final results of the haircut heard round the world. My FB family and friends are the silliest and most supportive folks I know. Even when it took me a couple days to really fall in love with the cut, they were all down with it. My mom, who responded first to the pic with my hair on the counter with, "What did you do?", even liked it. The jury is still out on if I'm going to keep it shorter or grow it out again. I'll keep you posted.

4. My Mother's Day was the bomb dot com. I received homemade cards, flowers, candy, wine and baby girl even gave me $2. My son's card made me proud. Part of it was a fill in the blank and one question said: "I love my mom the most because she always: keeps her promises." and "I know my mom loves me because she: gives me big hugs filled with love." But, I had to give him the side eye when I read, "What was your mom like before she became your mom: pretty and skinny." We gone have to have a little talk about that one.

After church, I kicked my feet up and enjoyed a meal prepared by my hubby. I was happy to be presented with such heartfelt gifts and was able to do the same for my Mom as I surprised her with a basket of goodies that included a cookbook of family recipes passed down from my Grandma. Overall, a good time was had by all.

How was you Mother's Day?

Forever Loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda  

My Life in Pictures: The Uninvited Guest

It has been quite a week for me and I am pretty exhausted by it all. Here's what happened...

1.

1. It was parent teacher conference time and this time around the kids had to run the show. There were power point presentations and group projects that were very impressive for elementary school. My kids are doing great, as I expected and are both above their reading level. Another proud mommy moment for me.

2.

2. I have been contemplating a trim/cut for a while now and when I saw the shapes if these wigs on Instagram I knew it was about to go down. As soon as I make my final decision on the diva cut I want, me and my scissors are going to have at it. I'll keep you posted.

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3. So there's my hubby, my hero, who went in a ditch to get my tire that had popped off my car while I was driving. He told me to come home when I complained of the shaking and rattling noises I was hearing. I didn't want to cause I had things to do, but I'm so glad that I did because things could have been a whole lot worse if I was still on the highway. Thank God for his intuition.

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4. We had an uninvited guest staying in our garage this week. We don't know how long he was there or where in the world he was hiding, but the other morning as we starred each other down, I knew he had to go. Thanks to my neighbors, who are equipped with just about everything, we were able to trap the possum and are going to call animal control to come get him. This defiantly was better than the alternative which would have involved my husband and I screaming and having a fit trying to chase him up out of there.

That was my eventful week, how was yours?

Rhonda

My Life in Photos

1. My babies are growing up. They need to wear glasses, can you believe that?! I was so fearful that they would break them the first day they wore them to school, but they are proving themsleves to be very responsible. So proud of them.

2. She bakes, too. I made a strawberry cake to celebrate 2 of my co-workers birthday and it was sooo good. We also had vegan banana bread, brought by another collegue and we thew in some oranges for good measure. The vegan banana bread was good too, I wasn't sure what to expect but it had plenty of flavor.

3. I did some shopping and I can't wait till the weather is nice enough for me to show these thick legs and thunder thighs. (Yes, I've learned to embrace mine.) I stalked this romper on ASOS for a couple weeks before it sold out. When I saw it was restocked, I did not hesitate. Online shopping is a blessing an a curse.

4. Deuces. This is going to be my motto/logo for the rest of the year, and possibly my life. I'm saying deuces to all negativity and situations that try to bring me down. I will no longer allow other people to control my feelings or bring me into their worlds of despair. #Preach. Ain't nobody got time for that.

What did you do this week? Holla.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda