My Summer in Photos

So, It's been a while since I posted, and since summer is officially over, I just wanted to catch you all up to the goings on of me and family this summer. Now is a good time to reflect on the fun we had.

1. Baby girl completed her hip hop class. Unfortunately for me, my phone had an attitude and would not record the video of their final performance. She said she likes hip hop better than ballet, so I'm trying to see if we can get her signed up again.

2. Hubby and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary with a nice dinner at one of my faves, Bahama Mama- their shrimp and grits gave me all my life. I also made an anniversary video...major brownie points were given.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOxz1l9fdQA&sns=em

3. Then we hit the road with our first family road trip. Despite the thirteen hour drive and the "survivor" type conditions the first night in town, our trip to Alabama was one for the memory books.

4. I went to the Women's Empowerment Expo and had a wonderful time. My friend and I did breakfast at a local bakery, met Zane (author of book turned into movie, "Addicted", and got to see Ayanya Vanzant dance down the isle.

5. We had our annual family picnic, complete with my higly requested cupcakes and our family obstacle course.

So that was my summer, how was yours?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Tomorrow is our 10th anniversary and I am so surprised happy that we made it this far. Our story is 20 years in the making, with many more to come. To commemorate this milestone, I made a video. Take a look and experience the best story ever told.





Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids (and My Husband),
Rhonda

How to Turn Your Fear Into Motivation

What would you do with your life if money was no object? I don't know about you, but I could spend hours pondering the possibilities. The dream vacations, the business ventures, endless opportunities for my kids, good credit, shoot you wouldn't be able to tell me nothing. So what's stopping me from having all the things I desire? One word: fear.

Fear is a frequent topic at bible study and it is a frequent emotion in my life. Scratch that, as I just learned, fear is a spirit, not an emotion. Only fear has the power to erase your plans and turn them into self-doubt. Well, I have decided that I'm taking my power back from fear. I'm tired of writing in my journals all these dreams and goals for my personal and business life and just simply letting them continue as words on a page.

It is time to put into action all those dreams and it's time to stop letting fear win. I want to share 5 simple steps that I will use to turn my fear into motivation.

1. Daily Affirmations- An affirmation is a statement that you are declaring is true. When you constantly feed into yourself positive affirmations, it leaves little room for doubt. Saying to yourself, "I am capable. I am wonderfully made. And I already have everything I need to succeed," would be a great start to each new day.

2. Vision Board- I am a true believer in vision boards. So much so, that I had a vision board party back in February. Along with affirmations, putting images and quotes up where you can see them on a daily basis adds more positive thinking to your daily process.

3. Face Your Fear- You know how they say that the only way to fix something is to admit that there is a problem? This is certainly true with fear because we may not realize why we do the things we do, but once we can recognize it and call in out as fear, we will know how to handle it. It's hard to admit that you stayed in a bad relationship because you were afraid of being alone or you never went to the doctor for that pain because you feared what the test results would say. You have to face fear and decide to take it head on. You do that with the next step.

4. Step Out On Faith- Faith and fear can not co-exist. Faith trumps fear every time by being one of the most powerful spiritual tools you can receive. The Bible says that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". (Hebrews 1:1) To have faith in not only yourself or an idea, but also in a God who will never steer you wrong is the perfect answer to combat fear.

5. Embrace Failure- No one likes to admit it, but sometimes, even when we affirm, face our fears and step out on faith, we can still fail. But, when you understand that failure and rejection is a part of life you will be able to learn from the journey. Failure is not easy, especially when done in front of others, which most failures tend to do. Just consider it a stepping stone, a change lane signal or an event that needed to happen to develop you character with humility.

I hope that I shed some light onto the subject of fear and helped you start your journey to a more faith driven life. Don't give up and remember that everything you ever wanted is just on the other side of fear.

Wishing You Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

My Life in Photos- June 2015

1. Talk about real life goals, this would be a true blessing. All shopping decisions I make are based on my budget, so not having to check the price tag or my account would definitely put me at success status. This quote is going on my vision board ASAP!

2. So somebody at Matel came up with the bright idea to put false lashes on Barbie. I don't know whether to say, "aww, they're cute" or "bye, Felicia!" While I love wearing lashes myself, that's not the image I want to put out to my daughter that she has to wear falsies to be beautiful. I already have to fuss at her about staying out of my makeup, I don't need to have to hide the lash glue, too.

3. I decided to get my Janell Monae on and try out this protective hair style. It was super easy, only took about 20 minutes to style and only $15 in braiding hair. All the questions and compliments about my hair skills have also made me rethink my future in styling natural hair. To be continued.

4. It was my daughter's birthday and as much as I tried to make her celebration a small, nothing special, with just ice cream and cake, the more the grocery and guest list grew. It also didn't help that it rained ALL day, but it was a good turn out and a great non-party if I do say so myself.

That was my week in review, how was yours?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty, 

Rhonda 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month- How to Get Help

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention of those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This last post of my 3 part series is going to inform you on how to do self-checks on your mental health and once again tell you how to get help.

There are 10 things you can do for your mental health to self evaluate and try to steer you into a more positive outlook. They are simple steps that should be done consistently in your life to help maintain balance for your mental well being.

1. Rest- As I stated in my last post, 7-8 hours of sleep is the recommended amount an adult needs on average. Living off 5 hours every night is not doing you or those around you any good.

2. Eat well- Eating well balanced meals can not only keep you satisfied, but it will keep you from loading on carbs or sugar, just to crash and burn soon after. You want to keep your energy levels at a constant flow and not dip and dive with each sugar rush.

3. Exercise- Keeping yourself moving and in motion is good for your body and your emotional well being because of all those natural, feel good endorphins that kick in along with it.

4. Journal- Write about the good things you have going on, have a gratitude journal and re-read those entries when things start to get a little tough in your life. You will realize that staying positive instead of focosing on the negative is a good habit to have.

5. Get up and Get out- Don't stay secluded to yourself all the time. It's good to go out with friends and family, even if only for a couple of hours. Have fun and enjoy each others company.

6. Meditation and Prayer- Making time for meditation and prayer should definitely be a priority. Whether through practices like yoga, or religious beliefs, the benefits are so far greater than can be explained.

7. Do what makes you feel good- As long as you aren't causing any harm to yourself or others, do what makes you happy. Eat, dance, laugh, play or whatever puts a smile on your face.

8. Learn your triggers- If there is something that causes you to be in a funky mood all the time, it may be time to change that situation. Get a new job, move out of that neighborhood and stay off of social media if they're causing you more harm than good.

9. Watch your circle- And the same thing goes for the people in your life. If there are people who transfer their negative emotions to you and are full of nothing but bad vibes, then maybe you need to limit your time with them or throw up deuces on them all together.

10. Seek a therapist- There are some circumstances where our emotions are so scrambled that we can't get it together on our own and there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. There are people who have dedicated their lives to helping those in need of help, so don't be ashemed of taking advantage of their expertise. It could be the difference between a well balanced life and one of detriment and emotional torture.

There are sites like mentalhealthamerica.net or crisiscallcenter.org that have been created for such a purpose. You can take online assessments, get in contact with centers and counsellors in your area and learn about mental health issues ranging from depression, bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder.

There are is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273- TALK/ (800) 273- 8255 for immediate help 24/7.

They say when you know better, you do better so hopefully these posts have helped you get a better understanding on mental health and why it is so important.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda

My Life in Photos: May 2015

1. Forever the actor/ wannabe model, I posed this pic for my mental awareness posts this month. If you haven't done so already, please check them out.

2. Just one of the many perks of being in a committed  relationship and having a warm body next to you at night. I sometimes complain about the bear hug when it's hot, but when he doesn't do it, the next morning I be like, "what's yo problem?" I'm complicated like that.

3. Another perk of being married is that I can be myself with no apologies. Sometimes my husband can't do nothing but laugh at me. This time it was because I pretty much said screw our budget and I took his "lol" as approval.

4. My baby got his medal for flag football.  They didn't place in the top 3 and I doubt if I'll be able to talk him into playing next year, but I'm so proud of my big baby. He proved himself to be a team player, a quick learner and a pretty good running back. If you look closely you can see what looks like a smile. 

That's my life. What's happening in yours?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

Being a Plus Sized Beauty

I'm proud to be a plus sized girl. I love my curves and believe that I'm thick in all the right places. I have even learned to except my stretch marks. Like Madea says, "they the road map to heaven", so you better act like you know. But, no matter how much I embrace my thickness, there are still some things that are not necessarily problems, but slight struggles for a thick girl like myself.

Pants/ Jeans- I haven't had a thigh gap since I was a toddler, so I have a love/hate relationship with pants. One thing I can say about buying a good pair of jeans is that when I rub the thighs together to the point where they are nearly transparent, I can easily turn them into shorts. 

Tight Jackets- I am at a weird size. I'm too big to fit a large and too small to fit an extra large. Do you know how many blazers I have that fit me perfect at the waist but I can't button up past my bust? And who can forget the jackets that are tight in the arms and make me feel like the Incredible Hulk all day.

Walking in heels- Listen, I am knocked kneed and flat footed so to see me walking in some heels is like seeing Peter walking on water. I don't choose my heels by color, I choose them by how long I can wear them before my foot starts looking like a popped can of biscuits. My closet consists of a lot of 3 hour shoes that I usually back up with some flip flops. But, just like a woman, I can not stop myself from buying a cute pair of heels.

Shapers- Part of me wants to rid myself from the sausage casing called a body shaper because I'm sure in some countries they can be considered a form of torture. But, I also hate to see muffin top, dimple booty and back fat, so a girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Even today as I write this I am wearing a shaper underneath my dress. I may not have any back fat showing but it sounds like I'm wearing corduroys.

Food Shaming- I have been on many a diet, detox and exercise routine. I can and have lost tremendous amounts of weight, but it never fails, I always gain it back. So I decided that I am done with forcing myself to suffer to be back at square one a couple months later. I love food too much, and I am not bout to deprive myself the pleasure of something satisfying to fit somebody else's image of beauty. And although I am currently working on some flabby bits, I am happy with me. One brownie is not going to make a difference, and neither is one salad. I chose to live in moderation. So please know that when you go out to eat with me, you can have a salad if you want to, but please don't hate while I get my life from this pasta. I'm going to also need another bread basket. Please and thank-you.

Peer pressure- My co-workers be at work talking about their daily protein drinks, comparing the number of steps they take everyday and swapping healthy slow cooker meals and I be like, well, I'm bout to just eat this cookie right here. I respect every ones right to eat healthy, but I will not be subject to the side eye given because I choose a carb lifestyle.

Of course, I'm just being silly with that last one. While it is important to lead a healthy lifestyle, everybody wasn't made to be a size 2, and a smaller size does not automatically mean you are healthy. One of the goals with my business, Soul Deep Beauty, has always been to help women maintain a positive body image and to love the skin that your in. True beauty is more than skin deep.

Share some of your plus sized struggles. Remember, we're in this together.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

May is Mental Health Awareness Month- Knowing the Signs

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention of those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This is Part 2 of my 3 part series about mental health. I hope you saw last weeks post about my own personal story with dealing with depression. I never shared my feelings with people before now because one, I'm not really an emotion type of person. Two, I didn't realize what it was until some time later. And lastly, there is a stigma, especially in the black community about being depressed or other mental issues. People aren't very opened minded about mental health and think that these issues aren't that important and can be just prayed away. As a community, we need to open our eyes and realize that depression is not a weakness or a lack of enthusiasm, it is a deeply rooted condition that can and does destroy lives everyday.

So how do you tell the difference between just being sad about something and depression? Depression is defined as a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. And in doing research, I found that there are 10 common signs that could signify that someone is depressed. They may not have all of these symptoms, but if they suffer from a few of them and they are persistent and on-going, there may be a need to seek out professional help.

1. Having a feeling of hopelessness- When you feel like there is never going to be an end to this sad state of being, or a situation that you may be going through and that nothing is going to get better.

2. Irritability- When any and everything gets on your last nerve, and for no good reason. Everything just puts you in a bad mood.

3. A change in appetite- Some people gain weight from overeating comfort foods, while others loose weight from loss of appetite. However your body reacts to stress is going to show in your weight.

4. Anhedonia- This clinical term just means that things that used to make you happy no longer give you joy. People can loose interest in friends, work, hobbies and sometimes foods and sexual activity when they are depressed.

5. Aches and Pains- Frequent unexplained headaches or aches and pains could be the way that your body is reacting to stress or depression.

6. Changed sleeping patterns- Some people can't sleep while others sleep too much. The Mayo Clinic says that the average amount of sleep an adult needs is 7-8 hours. Any more or less on a consistent basis should be payed real close attention to.

7. Lack of energy- We all get tired, but staying tired all day, everyday is a sure tell sign that something is wrong.

8. Unable to concentrate- When you just can't seem to keep your attention on something and you feel scatterbrained and are also forgetting things all the time.

9. Feelings of worthlessness- While feelings of hopelessness are about a situation, feelings of worthlessness is how you feel about yourself. Having low self-esteem, self hatred or any derogatory feelings about yourself is very damaging.

10. Suicidal Thoughts- I don't need to explain the seriousness of this symptom, but I can also add to this, that symptom- having feelings of hurting yourself or others. This is a very dangerous place to exist and anyone who feels like this should seek help right away.

Again, if you or someone you know has some of these symptoms, they persist for a long period of time and start to interfere with everyday life, please seek out professional help.

For additional information or to seek help: mentalhealthawareness.net or crisiscallcenter.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273- TALK/ (800) 273- 8255

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

May is Mental Health Awareness Month- My Personal Story

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention tools for those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This is part 1 of a 3 part series I'm doing this month about mental health. I originally thought about writing a post about mental health and depression back in December when I heard the news about natural hair company Miss Jessie's co-founder Titi Branch died by suicide. It reminded me that no matter what incredible thing is happening in someones life, no one knows what's really going on at home. I thought she had it all: she was a beautiful and smart lady, she ran a successful business with her sister and it seemed that there brand was all about self confidence and embracing the natural you thru your curls. But, obviously there was something deeper that burdened her.

It's not something that I talk about, and actually the only person that really knows I was going thru something at that time was my husband, who was then my boyfriend. During my first year of college I went thru a period of depression. I had a real hard time adjusting to college life- I cried all the time, I was lonely and I lost weight- enough that per my mom, my grandmother wanted to pull me out of school. I had never been a person who couldn't make friends, but I just felt lonely. And no shade to my friends and family but my interpretation of their support was lacking. I wound up coming home almost every weekend because I just couldn't stand the isolation. I don't know what shifted and took me from being my normally head strong and confident self.

I kept my depressive state mostly to myself because it wasn't anything that I felt was clinical. I was still able to go about my daily grind, but it was after my classes, after whatever rehearsal or meeting I had and in those night hours of solitude that I had lonely moments. I did go to a dark place and it was hard for me to think positive. I wondered what's the point of all this if I have to do it alone. 

My saving grace was that I was in activities on campus that kept me focused on the good things in life. I was able to help plan events for our school through the activities committee and I increased my faith while singing in the gospel choir. I had to learn to love me first so that I can be available to receive love from others.

Unfortunately, I did go through this again in more recent years. The last time I felt this way was after my 30th birthday. I felt like I was living somebody else's life and I was questioning all the decisions I had made in my life.  I was the mother of two small children, my marriage was holding on by a thread, my business was not doing well and there were some days where I just couldn't even get out of bed. I felt like there would be no end to my misery, I once again felt lonely and overwhelmed and unappreciated. And like always I went on like nothing was wrong. 

So what did I do? Eventually, I seeked out help. I once again joined a choir and became a faithful member of my church, my husband and I received marriage counseling and even though I did wind up closing my business, at least I can say I had one. For me, it was just about forward movement and keeping this thing called life going, no matter what road blocks came. I also had to learn that if I let the actions, or in-actions of those around me dictate how I felt, then my self- worth wasn't where it needed to be. It all starts and ends with me.

For help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or go to crisiscallcenter.org.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

My Life in Photos

1. My son had a day with the boys at his friends house last week-end. So we took little mama to Orange Leaf for some frozen yogurt. As can be expected she was all smiles. Who can be mad when froyo is involved?

2. I love when the weather is warm enough to be on the Detroit Riverwalk. I've been about 3 times in as many weeks. Once, to sing at an event our choir was invited to at the Detroit Marriott, then I went to the Praise Fest at Hart Plaza, and again last week between work and rehearsal. If they start having food trucks out there I'll never leave.

3. The final results of the haircut heard round the world. My FB family and friends are the silliest and most supportive folks I know. Even when it took me a couple days to really fall in love with the cut, they were all down with it. My mom, who responded first to the pic with my hair on the counter with, "What did you do?", even liked it. The jury is still out on if I'm going to keep it shorter or grow it out again. I'll keep you posted.

4. My Mother's Day was the bomb dot com. I received homemade cards, flowers, candy, wine and baby girl even gave me $2. My son's card made me proud. Part of it was a fill in the blank and one question said: "I love my mom the most because she always: keeps her promises." and "I know my mom loves me because she: gives me big hugs filled with love." But, I had to give him the side eye when I read, "What was your mom like before she became your mom: pretty and skinny." We gone have to have a little talk about that one.

After church, I kicked my feet up and enjoyed a meal prepared by my hubby. I was happy to be presented with such heartfelt gifts and was able to do the same for my Mom as I surprised her with a basket of goodies that included a cookbook of family recipes passed down from my Grandma. Overall, a good time was had by all.

How was you Mother's Day?

Forever Loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda  

What I really want for Mother's Day- A Mother's Confession

My husband has been asking me all week what I want for Mother's Day. I guess he wants me to make it easy for him and either say, "Oh, whatever you get me is fine" or "Baby, I don't want anything. Your love is enough." 

Well, that ain't gone happen. I want the best you got to give. It doesn't have to cost anything or be this big extravagant event. If all he has is time to give, then I'll take it. Truth be told, after sleeping in (which is out of the question because we are in church every Sunday), I don't really know what I want.

But, I do know what I don't want:

If the meal prepared leaves my kitchen a mess, no thanks.
If the gift received makes me ashamed of myself the next day (i.e- a box of candy that I devour before midnight)- no thanks.
If I have to wear a bra, high heels and Spanks for an extended length of time- no thanks.
If I have to entertain other people- no thanks.
If I have to be entertained by other people and sit in awkward silence- no thanks.
If I will be designated the "kid watcher" while everyone else gets to relax and have fun- no thanks.

Of course I'm being silly, I will except any of the above (maybe) and the standard card, flowers and candy is fine, but sometimes mothers want something with a little more thought into it. Something that lets us know that our family is really paying attention to us. I will cherish every home made card that my kids give me because I know that it came from the purest place of love.

As a mother, I now know the importance of simply wanting to feel like I am appreciated, that my words don't fall on deaf ears and that every sacrifice I've made for my family has all been worth it.

Of course there are some that say mother's should be celebrated everyday and not just on Mother's Day, which is true. But, if you are not one of those people, get it together and get that mother figure in your life something special.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Forever Loving My B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

The Value of a Black Life- Praying for our Streets

This is a repost from November that I wrote on my parenting blog. At the time there was looting and rioting happening in Ferguson, but my message still remains the same. Five months ago it was Ferguson, today it's Baltimore, next week it could be your city. Don't let the media distract you from the real issue. 

It's starting to become the norm: a young  life gone while his murderer walks free. I can't help but to wonder why? Why is this okay? Why is this happening? Why is a system that is supposed to be here to protect us, holding the deaths of so many black men as just another criminal who got what he deserved? Anyone who tells me that racism doesn't exist is in denial and anyone who says that the man who killed Michael Brown deserves to walk away unaffected and uncharged is a fool.

I don't agree with the looting that's going on in Ferguson but I understand their desperation. I understand what it feels like to be hurt and angry, feeling like your voice is not being heard, like nobody cares about the struggle our black youth go through everyday. Where they can't wear their hooded sweatshirts and walk in their own neighborhoods.This is the result of decades of peaceful protests that gave us an inch, yet take a mile.

I pray for them. I pray for my children, and I pray for the men in my life, who because of their skin and husky build automatically fit the profile. My husband and brother have both felt the black man's plight for DWB (driving while black) , handcuffed, slammed on top of police vehicle hoods while their cars were illegally searched. They left with sore wrists and bruised egos, but still, they walked away. Far too many is the story of those who don't get that privilege. And far too many is the story of those who don't know what to do about it.

How many protest, petitions, sit-ins and marches do we have to do before society truly sees us as equals? I don't know if that day will ever come. What I do know is that the black community needs to stop playing and open their eyes to the reality of the situation. Michael Brown, Travon Martin and Ricky Bell where just regular guys until the day they were killed and their murders went free. This clearly can happen to anybody and we have to change our mind set and be our brother's keeper. We have to teach our youth that ignorance is not bliss.

As any true parent knows, education starts at home and we need to instill in our children the values we grew up on. It's time to stop being friends and be parents. Stop buying video games and start buying books. Stop worshiping rappers and movie stars and follow a true and living God. So where do we start? Like anything that is being built, we have to start with a good foundation, and for me and my household that foundation starts with God. Whether you call Him God or not, there has got to be a higher power, a belief in something bigger than yourself that gives you that ray of hope that everything you need is in His hands.

Next, we must teach respect: for ourselves, our peers, those in authority and respect for life. We should care about how we look and how we carry ourselves and take priority in taking care of our health. We should be able to disagree with our peers and still respect them. We should be able to respect our elders and those in authority. We need to teach our children how to respond to police when confronted or pulled over. We need to drill it in their heads that life is not fair and things are going to happen, but it is how you deal with these things that show your true character. You can't fight a negative with a negative and think that something positive is going to be the result.

Most of all, we need to teach them respect for life. Death and violence should not be a part of the norm. We should not be desensitized, but instead feel prompted to make a change. This way of life where killers of children get to roam free because they have a badge has to end and we can't wait for justice to just happen. The track record speaks for itself. We have to get involved in our political systems, know the law and stand up for our American rights. How can you complain when you won't go out and vote? How can you be mad about the Ferguson decision when you won't do anything to help your community, you hate your fellow peers and you don't even have respect for yourself or anyone else around you?

We have to be our own civil rights leaders and stand for equal rights for all people. When it seems like the system is not made for us, we have to make the first step and value our own lives. That's my two cents, what's yours?

Praying and Forever Loving My BADD Kids,
Rhonda 

Love and Marriage: Marriage Advise Worth Listening To

As my husband and I come up on our 10th Anniversary, I can't help but think about our relationship when we first started out as newlyweds. We were the first of our friends to get married and all we had to go on was instinct and the advise of our parents and grandparents. Did we listen to them all, of course not, but I still wanted to share a few that are definitely worth sharing and incorporating into your relationship. #TeamStayTogether can be challenging, so I'm doing my part to keep hope alive.

1. Don't go to bed angry. It took me a long time to get with the program on this one. I thought there were only 2 options: 1- stay up to un-holy hours of the night arguing talking to my husband till we worked it out or 2- just shut it down and be mad that night and again all morning the next day. Then one day I realized that my beauty sleep and my sanity had taken too much of a beating and I learned 8 magical words: "We gone have to agree to disagree. Good-night." Will we discuss it the next day, probably. Will I worry about it at 10 o'clock at night- nope.

2. Kiss everyday. There is research out there somewhere that shows that kissing is good for you. It releases those feel good endorphins, amps up the romance and helps remind you of the reason you got together in the first place. You may not have time, or privacy for those teen-age makeout sessions, but make sure you smooch it out with your sweetie.

3. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't nobody have time to argue over every little thing. Yes, I know you have asked your man a thousand times to replace the bag when he takes the trash out (one of my pet peeves), but when he doesn't don't trip. Just continue throwing the garbage in the can as if he did, so the next time when he has to empty and clean the can out, he'll make sure he replaces that bag. It's a little passive aggressive, but it beats fussing about it again. I'm just saying.

4. Say I love you everyday. I am not a very affectionate person. Don't know why, I'm just not, but it wasn't until I got married that I realized how much weight these 3 little words really carry. We can get on each other's last good nerve, not talk all day and roll our eyes when the other person talks, but at the end of the day "I love you" pretty much means that all is forgiven and everything is all right.

5. The 80/ 20 Rule for Relationships. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married put me up on this rule saying that in most healthy relationships, we only get 80% of what we want and it's in that search for the 20% that either drives us crazy or causes people to stray. Remembering that life is not perfect, and neither is your spouse will help you get things back into perspective.

6. Forgive and forget. It's nothing worse than having what I like to call the "forever" argument. This is when couples who have been together forever start bringing up stuff that happened forever ago just to make a point. You may have forgiven, but with that you have to at least pretend that you forgot. We are no longer allowed to bring up things that happened pre-marriage, pre-kids or pre-marital counseling. We try our best not to bring up things that happened last week, let alone last year. You know that you have truly forgiven someone when you don't use it and throw it up in their face.

7. Learn to live in the grey area. I can be very cut throat at times: you're either right or wrong, you're going to do it, or not do it, I either like you or I don't. I don't leave much room for interpretation. So, I had to learn that with marriage, everything isn't always black and white, we will not always agree, we will not always get along, there may be times where we just can't get it together. But, it's in those moments, when we are pushed to our limits that our faith in each other is tested and we come out the other end stronger than when we started.

Those are my tips, please share yours.

Forever Loving My B.A.D.D. Kids (and my Husband),
Rhonda

My Life in Photos

1. These were our Easter outfits. Our church dresses down for Resurrection Sunday, but that didn't mean we couldn't be cute. And all I spent was $50. My daughter already had the shoes and the jean jacket, so I paired it with that adorable jumpsuit and matching jewelry set from Children's Place. I also got the hat, polo shirt and bracelet and dog tag set for my son from their. 

For myself, I just reached in the closet to accommodate our praise teams' dress code of denim, black and white. 

2. I'm always in need of a little inspiration, and Oprah is one of my favorite go to's. This quote inspires me to stop reflecting on the things that may happen in my life aimed to distract me, and instead use it to encourage me. 

3. I been tearing up strawberry shortcake for two weeks. And this is not those shortcakes that come in a six pack, this is a pound cake that I got from Sam's Club. I eventually upgraded to whipped topping instead of the stuff out the can, and when I took some to work, created a shortcake bar that had options of strawberries, blueberries and peaches. It was demolished before I had the chance to take a picture.

4. Elephants have become an important symbol in our family, especially since my grandmother died. She collected them for years, and so my mother and I have followed suit, or at least I will now since I have my first elephant statue. My mom bought one for each of us and I absolutely love it. They are a sign of good luck, wisdom and strength- all the things my grandmother was, and what I hope to be.

That was my week, how was yours?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda

Love and Marriage: A Year of Dates- March

Well, once again, parenthood took a front seat to our date night and my husband and I spent our evening with not only our kids, but several others. If you saw February's date night post, then you may be realizing that they are not going as planned.

Here's what we were supposed to be doing: A night out on the town in a surrounding city that we don't frequent too often. I had chosen Royal Oak, because it's been at least 2 or 3 years since my business closed and I haven't been there in a while. I am definitely a foodie and wanted to hit up a couple of places on Main St.

Mission Impossible

But, as our date night approached, my popular children were invited to not one, but 3 birthday parties that Friday and Saturday, so our date night was spent at Pump it Up and Air Time. Our kids are old enough that we don't have to chase them around, we just make sure we get our eyes on them every now and then. I usually get irritated going to places like these because everybody's children aren't as well behaved as mine :) but everything flowed smoothly and I didn't feel the need to snatch somebody's kid up not once. Plus, my husband had as much fun as the kids did.

My husband @ Pump It Up.

My kids and their friends at Air Time.

There was music, pizza and ice cream and cake times two, so I had no complaints (as you know, I can eat). We'll get our official date night eventually. Until then, I guess the family date nights will do.

Any ideas for a family date night?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
 Rhonda

My Life in Pictures: The Uninvited Guest

It has been quite a week for me and I am pretty exhausted by it all. Here's what happened...

1.

1. It was parent teacher conference time and this time around the kids had to run the show. There were power point presentations and group projects that were very impressive for elementary school. My kids are doing great, as I expected and are both above their reading level. Another proud mommy moment for me.

2.

2. I have been contemplating a trim/cut for a while now and when I saw the shapes if these wigs on Instagram I knew it was about to go down. As soon as I make my final decision on the diva cut I want, me and my scissors are going to have at it. I'll keep you posted.

3.

3. So there's my hubby, my hero, who went in a ditch to get my tire that had popped off my car while I was driving. He told me to come home when I complained of the shaking and rattling noises I was hearing. I didn't want to cause I had things to do, but I'm so glad that I did because things could have been a whole lot worse if I was still on the highway. Thank God for his intuition.

4.

4. We had an uninvited guest staying in our garage this week. We don't know how long he was there or where in the world he was hiding, but the other morning as we starred each other down, I knew he had to go. Thanks to my neighbors, who are equipped with just about everything, we were able to trap the possum and are going to call animal control to come get him. This defiantly was better than the alternative which would have involved my husband and I screaming and having a fit trying to chase him up out of there.

That was my eventful week, how was yours?

Rhonda

The Mom Timeout

I need a timeout. I have been pulled in a million directions and want to give my superwoman cape a rest. After last week's happenings, I have reached the point where I just need to be sent to my room or told to face the wall in the corner before I loose it. Since, I know that's not going to happen, I'm going to take myself away from some situations by putting myself on a time out.

So here's a short list of some things I plan to do all by my lonesome to relax, relate and release.

My fun things to do alone:
Go to the movies. I am no stranger to hitting the theatre alone. I actually prefer it. I get to eat all my nachos and I don't have to share the armrest.

Go to lunch or dinner. Although I frequent Panera Bread as my solo lunch spot, anywhere good food is, I will follow.

Get ice cream or froyo. I am not ashamed of ordering a waffle bowl sundae and eating it in the store or in my car. In my own ride I get to listen to music I want to hear.

Go to a museum. I love anything artistic and there is nothing like going to the Detroit Institute of Arts and looking at all the work on display. It gets your mind off the crazy day to day and helps you focus on what's beautiful in the world.

Have a spa day. It's time to woosahh, believe me your body will thank you for it.

Explore the bookstore. I am still a book person. I love the feel and smell of books, the art of holding something tangible. I could, and have spent hours in a bookstore before and it is awesome.

People watch at the mall. People are very interesting, especially when they think nobody is watching. Plus, it's a small world so you might run into somebody you know.

Go for a walk. As we all know, exercise releases those feel good endorphins and you can up the ante by walking a nice bike trail or at the park.

Shop. Speaking of endorphins, my heart skips a beat when I find something cute on sale. And although I love internet shopping, I have to admit that the instant gratification of carrying bags home is more satisfying than having to wait patiently for my package to come in the mail.

Stay the night at a hotel. Sometimes I like to reflect back to the time when I was single (spoken for, but not married), no kids and I stayed by my doggone self. Not that I don't love my family, but there is no such thing as privacy. Sometimes I just need a moment to just be to myself and reboot. In a perfect world, I would take a week-end and do all of the above.

So that's my mommy timeout list, what's yours?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda

My Life in Photos

1. My babies are growing up. They need to wear glasses, can you believe that?! I was so fearful that they would break them the first day they wore them to school, but they are proving themsleves to be very responsible. So proud of them.

2. She bakes, too. I made a strawberry cake to celebrate 2 of my co-workers birthday and it was sooo good. We also had vegan banana bread, brought by another collegue and we thew in some oranges for good measure. The vegan banana bread was good too, I wasn't sure what to expect but it had plenty of flavor.

3. I did some shopping and I can't wait till the weather is nice enough for me to show these thick legs and thunder thighs. (Yes, I've learned to embrace mine.) I stalked this romper on ASOS for a couple weeks before it sold out. When I saw it was restocked, I did not hesitate. Online shopping is a blessing an a curse.

4. Deuces. This is going to be my motto/logo for the rest of the year, and possibly my life. I'm saying deuces to all negativity and situations that try to bring me down. I will no longer allow other people to control my feelings or bring me into their worlds of despair. #Preach. Ain't nobody got time for that.

What did you do this week? Holla.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda