Inner Beauty: Learning to let it go.

I will be the first to admit that I am a grudge holder. It's not something that I'm proud of, but because I am a work in progress I can honestly say that this one thing I now to be true. If someone makes me mad or makes me feel disrespected I will either not talk to them for a while or stop talking to them all together. I have let a few friendships fall by the waist side because I felt they weren't as true a friend to me as I was to them. I even stopped talking to a very close family member for years because my feelings were hurt.

It wasn't until I learned about forgiveness that I was able to let go of the hurt that I was feeling. I have heard many times that forgiveness is more about you than it is about the other person. There I was mad at not only that particular man, but all men. In my eyes they weren't trustworthy and I felt they would do nothing but abandon me. When I finally chose to let it go and forgive him, it was like I could breath again. My relationship with him, and other men in my life got better.

Another issue that I have learned to let go of was a little bit more difficult. I have learned that you can not carry other peoples burdens. As much as you may love them and want nothing but the best for them, misery truly does love company and it moves like a parasite draining you of all hope and positivity. When you turn other peoples burdens into your own they can fester. And even when things are going right in your own life, the thought of what the other person is going through causes you to negate your own blessings and opportunities.

Now I'm not saying that if someone calls you with some bad news, you say you don't want to hear none of that and hang up on them. Take their struggle to heart and help them in any way that you can without over extending yourself in the process. If someone is sick, help them out the best way you can but don't forget about your own health. If you know that a friend is having financial trouble, help them within your own means. You can't give them money and then not know how you are going to pay your own rent.

That is where faith comes in. Learning to let things go and live happily despite the situation is the truest testament of faith. So deal with the situation as best as you can then, let it go.

Books that changed my point of view

I've always had dreams of being a writer. And a good writer should love to read. I never thought I would find myself in the "self help" isles of the book store or virtual book shelf, but I have been reading more non-fiction books as of late. A self-help book will only take you as far as you let it. So here is a list of books that I have read in the past year or so that have helped me look at life a little bit differently. They are in no particular order.

1. Thank God I'm Natural: The Ultimate Guide to Caring for and Maintaining Natural Hair by Chris-Tia E. Donaldson. My hair has been natural (no relaxers) for five or six years now and I have never had the desire to go back to chemically straightening my hair. Then, when I read this book, it not only confirmed that fact for me but also opened up my eyes to how to take care of my natural tresses the correct way. Not only that, but Donaldson gave me the confidence to be naturally me even in the corporate world. If someone doesn't like my hair, that's their problem. I love rocking my kinky curly dos and hope that my hair can be an extension of my personality: big and free.

2. Daily Spiritual Refreshment for Women Journal, through Barbour Publishing. I use this journal, along with my Everyday Study Bible to reflect on life's little lessons and how to live it to the fullest. Everyday there is a bible verse and a little except. Today's entry was about the beauty in you and the verse was from Proverbs 16:2, "Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good: God probes for what is good."

3. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and Straight Talk, No Chaser, by Steve Harvey. "Where were these two books when me and my husband were dating?" is what I asked myself when I finished with the first one. I listen to Steve Harvey's radio show everyday, but he went into detail on why men and women are so different and he gave some insider secrets on how the male mind operates. He left me feeling that I could (eventually) understand where my husband is coming from and get us on a even playing field.

4. Get Yours! How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More, by Amy DeBois Barnett. This book was a really down to earth guide on everything from your health, career, money and men. There was even sections in every chapter for you to journal what you can do today, this year, forever and always to get the life you want to live.

5. Now is the time to do what you love: How to make the career move that will change your life, by Nancy Whitney-Reitner. This book is what jumped started my skin care business. While I was out putting in applications at day spas, trying to figure out how I was going to handle two jobs, with two bosses and two sets of rules I was going to have to live by, this book helped me to realize that it was time to set my own rules. Whitney-Reitner is very inspiring with her stories of success and heartache. She gives reality checks to see if you're even ready to make the move you want. And if you are, how to make that transition without making mistakes that could leave you broke or half-crazy.

6. The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. When I first heard about this book on Oprah, I was half listening because I'm not the jump on the bandwagon type of person and truthfully, I thought it was weird. I am an open minded person, but I like to make judgements for myself. That's why when a co-worker started talking about it just recently, I asked if I could borrow it. Spoiler alert, the law of attraction sounds easy, but to be able to practice it everyday is hard. See, I just went against it right there. It's about being positive, saying positive things and living a positive life. I am often pessimistic, so this is a hard lesson for me. But, I noticed that whenever I set my self up for disappointment, I was in fact disappointed. So now I'm trying to change my point of view and live life in such a way that I'm open to all the good that God has for me.