May is Mental Health Awareness Month- How to Get Help

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention of those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This last post of my 3 part series is going to inform you on how to do self-checks on your mental health and once again tell you how to get help.

There are 10 things you can do for your mental health to self evaluate and try to steer you into a more positive outlook. They are simple steps that should be done consistently in your life to help maintain balance for your mental well being.

1. Rest- As I stated in my last post, 7-8 hours of sleep is the recommended amount an adult needs on average. Living off 5 hours every night is not doing you or those around you any good.

2. Eat well- Eating well balanced meals can not only keep you satisfied, but it will keep you from loading on carbs or sugar, just to crash and burn soon after. You want to keep your energy levels at a constant flow and not dip and dive with each sugar rush.

3. Exercise- Keeping yourself moving and in motion is good for your body and your emotional well being because of all those natural, feel good endorphins that kick in along with it.

4. Journal- Write about the good things you have going on, have a gratitude journal and re-read those entries when things start to get a little tough in your life. You will realize that staying positive instead of focosing on the negative is a good habit to have.

5. Get up and Get out- Don't stay secluded to yourself all the time. It's good to go out with friends and family, even if only for a couple of hours. Have fun and enjoy each others company.

6. Meditation and Prayer- Making time for meditation and prayer should definitely be a priority. Whether through practices like yoga, or religious beliefs, the benefits are so far greater than can be explained.

7. Do what makes you feel good- As long as you aren't causing any harm to yourself or others, do what makes you happy. Eat, dance, laugh, play or whatever puts a smile on your face.

8. Learn your triggers- If there is something that causes you to be in a funky mood all the time, it may be time to change that situation. Get a new job, move out of that neighborhood and stay off of social media if they're causing you more harm than good.

9. Watch your circle- And the same thing goes for the people in your life. If there are people who transfer their negative emotions to you and are full of nothing but bad vibes, then maybe you need to limit your time with them or throw up deuces on them all together.

10. Seek a therapist- There are some circumstances where our emotions are so scrambled that we can't get it together on our own and there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. There are people who have dedicated their lives to helping those in need of help, so don't be ashemed of taking advantage of their expertise. It could be the difference between a well balanced life and one of detriment and emotional torture.

There are sites like mentalhealthamerica.net or crisiscallcenter.org that have been created for such a purpose. You can take online assessments, get in contact with centers and counsellors in your area and learn about mental health issues ranging from depression, bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder.

There are is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273- TALK/ (800) 273- 8255 for immediate help 24/7.

They say when you know better, you do better so hopefully these posts have helped you get a better understanding on mental health and why it is so important.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda

My Life in Photos: May 2015

1. Forever the actor/ wannabe model, I posed this pic for my mental awareness posts this month. If you haven't done so already, please check them out.

2. Just one of the many perks of being in a committed  relationship and having a warm body next to you at night. I sometimes complain about the bear hug when it's hot, but when he doesn't do it, the next morning I be like, "what's yo problem?" I'm complicated like that.

3. Another perk of being married is that I can be myself with no apologies. Sometimes my husband can't do nothing but laugh at me. This time it was because I pretty much said screw our budget and I took his "lol" as approval.

4. My baby got his medal for flag football.  They didn't place in the top 3 and I doubt if I'll be able to talk him into playing next year, but I'm so proud of my big baby. He proved himself to be a team player, a quick learner and a pretty good running back. If you look closely you can see what looks like a smile. 

That's my life. What's happening in yours?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

Being a Plus Sized Beauty

I'm proud to be a plus sized girl. I love my curves and believe that I'm thick in all the right places. I have even learned to except my stretch marks. Like Madea says, "they the road map to heaven", so you better act like you know. But, no matter how much I embrace my thickness, there are still some things that are not necessarily problems, but slight struggles for a thick girl like myself.

Pants/ Jeans- I haven't had a thigh gap since I was a toddler, so I have a love/hate relationship with pants. One thing I can say about buying a good pair of jeans is that when I rub the thighs together to the point where they are nearly transparent, I can easily turn them into shorts. 

Tight Jackets- I am at a weird size. I'm too big to fit a large and too small to fit an extra large. Do you know how many blazers I have that fit me perfect at the waist but I can't button up past my bust? And who can forget the jackets that are tight in the arms and make me feel like the Incredible Hulk all day.

Walking in heels- Listen, I am knocked kneed and flat footed so to see me walking in some heels is like seeing Peter walking on water. I don't choose my heels by color, I choose them by how long I can wear them before my foot starts looking like a popped can of biscuits. My closet consists of a lot of 3 hour shoes that I usually back up with some flip flops. But, just like a woman, I can not stop myself from buying a cute pair of heels.

Shapers- Part of me wants to rid myself from the sausage casing called a body shaper because I'm sure in some countries they can be considered a form of torture. But, I also hate to see muffin top, dimple booty and back fat, so a girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Even today as I write this I am wearing a shaper underneath my dress. I may not have any back fat showing but it sounds like I'm wearing corduroys.

Food Shaming- I have been on many a diet, detox and exercise routine. I can and have lost tremendous amounts of weight, but it never fails, I always gain it back. So I decided that I am done with forcing myself to suffer to be back at square one a couple months later. I love food too much, and I am not bout to deprive myself the pleasure of something satisfying to fit somebody else's image of beauty. And although I am currently working on some flabby bits, I am happy with me. One brownie is not going to make a difference, and neither is one salad. I chose to live in moderation. So please know that when you go out to eat with me, you can have a salad if you want to, but please don't hate while I get my life from this pasta. I'm going to also need another bread basket. Please and thank-you.

Peer pressure- My co-workers be at work talking about their daily protein drinks, comparing the number of steps they take everyday and swapping healthy slow cooker meals and I be like, well, I'm bout to just eat this cookie right here. I respect every ones right to eat healthy, but I will not be subject to the side eye given because I choose a carb lifestyle.

Of course, I'm just being silly with that last one. While it is important to lead a healthy lifestyle, everybody wasn't made to be a size 2, and a smaller size does not automatically mean you are healthy. One of the goals with my business, Soul Deep Beauty, has always been to help women maintain a positive body image and to love the skin that your in. True beauty is more than skin deep.

Share some of your plus sized struggles. Remember, we're in this together.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

May is Mental Health Awareness Month- Knowing the Signs

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention of those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This is Part 2 of my 3 part series about mental health. I hope you saw last weeks post about my own personal story with dealing with depression. I never shared my feelings with people before now because one, I'm not really an emotion type of person. Two, I didn't realize what it was until some time later. And lastly, there is a stigma, especially in the black community about being depressed or other mental issues. People aren't very opened minded about mental health and think that these issues aren't that important and can be just prayed away. As a community, we need to open our eyes and realize that depression is not a weakness or a lack of enthusiasm, it is a deeply rooted condition that can and does destroy lives everyday.

So how do you tell the difference between just being sad about something and depression? Depression is defined as a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. And in doing research, I found that there are 10 common signs that could signify that someone is depressed. They may not have all of these symptoms, but if they suffer from a few of them and they are persistent and on-going, there may be a need to seek out professional help.

1. Having a feeling of hopelessness- When you feel like there is never going to be an end to this sad state of being, or a situation that you may be going through and that nothing is going to get better.

2. Irritability- When any and everything gets on your last nerve, and for no good reason. Everything just puts you in a bad mood.

3. A change in appetite- Some people gain weight from overeating comfort foods, while others loose weight from loss of appetite. However your body reacts to stress is going to show in your weight.

4. Anhedonia- This clinical term just means that things that used to make you happy no longer give you joy. People can loose interest in friends, work, hobbies and sometimes foods and sexual activity when they are depressed.

5. Aches and Pains- Frequent unexplained headaches or aches and pains could be the way that your body is reacting to stress or depression.

6. Changed sleeping patterns- Some people can't sleep while others sleep too much. The Mayo Clinic says that the average amount of sleep an adult needs is 7-8 hours. Any more or less on a consistent basis should be payed real close attention to.

7. Lack of energy- We all get tired, but staying tired all day, everyday is a sure tell sign that something is wrong.

8. Unable to concentrate- When you just can't seem to keep your attention on something and you feel scatterbrained and are also forgetting things all the time.

9. Feelings of worthlessness- While feelings of hopelessness are about a situation, feelings of worthlessness is how you feel about yourself. Having low self-esteem, self hatred or any derogatory feelings about yourself is very damaging.

10. Suicidal Thoughts- I don't need to explain the seriousness of this symptom, but I can also add to this, that symptom- having feelings of hurting yourself or others. This is a very dangerous place to exist and anyone who feels like this should seek help right away.

Again, if you or someone you know has some of these symptoms, they persist for a long period of time and start to interfere with everyday life, please seek out professional help.

For additional information or to seek help: mentalhealthawareness.net or crisiscallcenter.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273- TALK/ (800) 273- 8255

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

May is Mental Health Awareness Month- My Personal Story

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to make people aware of the identification factors and intervention tools for those who suffer from mental health conditions. According to mentalhealthawareness.net, 1 in 5 American adults will suffer from a mental health condition in any given year, but only 41% will actually get help.

This is part 1 of a 3 part series I'm doing this month about mental health. I originally thought about writing a post about mental health and depression back in December when I heard the news about natural hair company Miss Jessie's co-founder Titi Branch died by suicide. It reminded me that no matter what incredible thing is happening in someones life, no one knows what's really going on at home. I thought she had it all: she was a beautiful and smart lady, she ran a successful business with her sister and it seemed that there brand was all about self confidence and embracing the natural you thru your curls. But, obviously there was something deeper that burdened her.

It's not something that I talk about, and actually the only person that really knows I was going thru something at that time was my husband, who was then my boyfriend. During my first year of college I went thru a period of depression. I had a real hard time adjusting to college life- I cried all the time, I was lonely and I lost weight- enough that per my mom, my grandmother wanted to pull me out of school. I had never been a person who couldn't make friends, but I just felt lonely. And no shade to my friends and family but my interpretation of their support was lacking. I wound up coming home almost every weekend because I just couldn't stand the isolation. I don't know what shifted and took me from being my normally head strong and confident self.

I kept my depressive state mostly to myself because it wasn't anything that I felt was clinical. I was still able to go about my daily grind, but it was after my classes, after whatever rehearsal or meeting I had and in those night hours of solitude that I had lonely moments. I did go to a dark place and it was hard for me to think positive. I wondered what's the point of all this if I have to do it alone. 

My saving grace was that I was in activities on campus that kept me focused on the good things in life. I was able to help plan events for our school through the activities committee and I increased my faith while singing in the gospel choir. I had to learn to love me first so that I can be available to receive love from others.

Unfortunately, I did go through this again in more recent years. The last time I felt this way was after my 30th birthday. I felt like I was living somebody else's life and I was questioning all the decisions I had made in my life.  I was the mother of two small children, my marriage was holding on by a thread, my business was not doing well and there were some days where I just couldn't even get out of bed. I felt like there would be no end to my misery, I once again felt lonely and overwhelmed and unappreciated. And like always I went on like nothing was wrong. 

So what did I do? Eventually, I seeked out help. I once again joined a choir and became a faithful member of my church, my husband and I received marriage counseling and even though I did wind up closing my business, at least I can say I had one. For me, it was just about forward movement and keeping this thing called life going, no matter what road blocks came. I also had to learn that if I let the actions, or in-actions of those around me dictate how I felt, then my self- worth wasn't where it needed to be. It all starts and ends with me.

For help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or go to crisiscallcenter.org.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

My Life in Photos

1. My son had a day with the boys at his friends house last week-end. So we took little mama to Orange Leaf for some frozen yogurt. As can be expected she was all smiles. Who can be mad when froyo is involved?

2. I love when the weather is warm enough to be on the Detroit Riverwalk. I've been about 3 times in as many weeks. Once, to sing at an event our choir was invited to at the Detroit Marriott, then I went to the Praise Fest at Hart Plaza, and again last week between work and rehearsal. If they start having food trucks out there I'll never leave.

3. The final results of the haircut heard round the world. My FB family and friends are the silliest and most supportive folks I know. Even when it took me a couple days to really fall in love with the cut, they were all down with it. My mom, who responded first to the pic with my hair on the counter with, "What did you do?", even liked it. The jury is still out on if I'm going to keep it shorter or grow it out again. I'll keep you posted.

4. My Mother's Day was the bomb dot com. I received homemade cards, flowers, candy, wine and baby girl even gave me $2. My son's card made me proud. Part of it was a fill in the blank and one question said: "I love my mom the most because she always: keeps her promises." and "I know my mom loves me because she: gives me big hugs filled with love." But, I had to give him the side eye when I read, "What was your mom like before she became your mom: pretty and skinny." We gone have to have a little talk about that one.

After church, I kicked my feet up and enjoyed a meal prepared by my hubby. I was happy to be presented with such heartfelt gifts and was able to do the same for my Mom as I surprised her with a basket of goodies that included a cookbook of family recipes passed down from my Grandma. Overall, a good time was had by all.

How was you Mother's Day?

Forever Loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda  

What I really want for Mother's Day- A Mother's Confession

My husband has been asking me all week what I want for Mother's Day. I guess he wants me to make it easy for him and either say, "Oh, whatever you get me is fine" or "Baby, I don't want anything. Your love is enough." 

Well, that ain't gone happen. I want the best you got to give. It doesn't have to cost anything or be this big extravagant event. If all he has is time to give, then I'll take it. Truth be told, after sleeping in (which is out of the question because we are in church every Sunday), I don't really know what I want.

But, I do know what I don't want:

If the meal prepared leaves my kitchen a mess, no thanks.
If the gift received makes me ashamed of myself the next day (i.e- a box of candy that I devour before midnight)- no thanks.
If I have to wear a bra, high heels and Spanks for an extended length of time- no thanks.
If I have to entertain other people- no thanks.
If I have to be entertained by other people and sit in awkward silence- no thanks.
If I will be designated the "kid watcher" while everyone else gets to relax and have fun- no thanks.

Of course I'm being silly, I will except any of the above (maybe) and the standard card, flowers and candy is fine, but sometimes mothers want something with a little more thought into it. Something that lets us know that our family is really paying attention to us. I will cherish every home made card that my kids give me because I know that it came from the purest place of love.

As a mother, I now know the importance of simply wanting to feel like I am appreciated, that my words don't fall on deaf ears and that every sacrifice I've made for my family has all been worth it.

Of course there are some that say mother's should be celebrated everyday and not just on Mother's Day, which is true. But, if you are not one of those people, get it together and get that mother figure in your life something special.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Forever Loving My B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda