How to set goals and achieve them

 

It's May and we are almost at the mid way part of the year. When I think about the goals I set for myself and my family, I'm glad that I've accomplished a good portion of what I set out to do. I may have fallen by the wayside on some things, but the good news is, I still have time- and so do you.

I am a list maker. It is an obnoxious, yet necessary habit that I've had probably since college.  If I have to run errands, there's a list of places I need to go. I keep my my bi-monthly budget handy in list format in one of my many journals. And I dare not go to the grocery store without my list and meal plans for the week. My purse and journals are full of sticky notes with illegible words scrambled on them. List's make me feel organized and keep me on tract despite my self-inflicted distractions.

My list making is not only for errands, I feel that making lists of life goals are important as well. Whether it's something I want to do next week or next year, when I write it down, it makes it concrete. It makes it more than just something I said and turns it into an actual goal.  And when I break it down into attainable steps, it makes it easier to achieve, instead of this thing that is just looming out in the atmosphere. As they say, a goal without a plan is just a wish. So let me give you some real simple tips on how to set goals and actually achieve them.

Step 1: Figure out what you want and write it down.
Have you every had that "what do you want to eat conversation?" You know that your hungry, but don't know what you're hungry for. It seems simple, but sometimes we just don't know what we want in life. Just sit for awhile and think about the things that would improve your quality of life. Do you want a new job, or to lose weigh tor take that family vacation? Do you want to change your financial status or go back to school? No matter what it is, big or small, write it down. Whether it's something that you feel is attainable or is a one in a million chance of happening. Just by you writing it down, you are starting the process of the law of attraction. Those things that you put out in the atmosphere will be drawn to you.

Step 2: Break it down.
When I looked at my list of goals, I couldn't let it overwhelm me. One of the items on my list was to get in better shape. I know that I wasn't going to magically wake up and be several pounds down. There was going to have to be not only a plan involved, but some effort and sweat equity. So I had to break it down to baby steps. It looked something like this.

Get in shape!

1. Clean Eating- at least 80% of the time

      a. Cook more, no buying food at work
b. Take-out only on week-ends

2. Work out

a. Mon, Thurs, Sat

b. Cardio, weight train, yoga, dance

3. Less stress

a. Take time to read and meditate

b. Weekly facial or bougie bath on Sundays 

So after I practiced one step, I went on to the other. It didn't matter that it took me probably four months of eating better before I started working out. As long as I did it. Which brings me to the next step.

Step 3: Be consistent.

This is the part that most people struggle with. It's cool when you first start out and you're excited and on a mission, and then out of no where the magic fades and you don't feel as enthusiastic as you did when you first started out. So you slow down a bit, and casually make your way thru life and the next thing you know, you don't even actively work on your goal anymore. So this is where you have to be intentional about creating a good habit in your life. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so when I am trying to create good habits in my life, I trick myself into being addicted to that thing for 21 days in hopes that it sticks and stays in my way of life.  

Step 4: Reward yourself along the way.
Who says your hard work and effort has to go un-rewarded? Little victories should always be celebrated, if only to keep you motivated for the next celebration. Not that I needed outside approval to verify that my weight loss journey was working, but when people started to notice the change, I treated myself to some more weight loss equipment, I bought two yoga balls (different sizes) and some thigh slimmers for the #NoThunderThighs movement.

Step 5: Be okay with setbacks.
Of course, my plan to workout 3 times a week didn't always happen. There is always something going on in my life, so maybe I skipped a workout due to a choir rehearsal, or I had to take my kids somewhere, or maybe I just was too tired. It's okay if it doesn't go exactly as planned, the important thing is to get it together once things get back to normal.

The time is now to get out of your comfort zone. How can you see who you were destined to be if you're not willing to push yourself past your self-induced limits. Get it together, write it down and make it plain. I got yo back and I believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda 

The Redden Report- Last Minute Mother's Day Gifts

So Mother's Day is this Sunday and if you have not gotten your mother or that special mother figure in your life a gift yet, shame on you you still have time. And I am going to do you a favor and give you some ideas for the special lady in your life whether it is your wife, sister, mom or grandmother that you are looking to buy gifts for. Not to knock the gas station flower and balloon entrepreneurs, but it's time to step our game up in 2017.

So here are a few ideas for that mother in your life.

Make-up Loving Mom- If the mother you know has the gift of looking flawless despite her somewhat hectic life, she may love the following gifts.

1. Urban Decay Full Spectrum Palette- $32, Limited Edition @ Sephora
The colors are cute and the price is right. I would snatch this limited edition palette up real quick before it's no longer available.
2. Foreo Luna play- $39 @ Sephora
This textured silicone cleansing devise sends sonic waves to enhance deep pore cleansing. But, be warned, this is the non-rechargeable price point that estimates 100 uses. The chargeable Luna starts at $100.
3. Philosophy Cleanse, Refine and Renew Kit- $75 @ Ulta
With this cleanser, two step peel and award winning moisturizer, you can't go wrong.

Laid Back Mom- The mom we all aspire to be.

1. Mom- Yellow Bath Bomb- $7.95 @ Lush
As a bougie bath taker, I love bath bombs of any kind. This one from Lush with the scent of rose and lemon is heavenly.
2. Umbra Aquala Bathtb Caddy- $39 @ JCPenny
I like the fact that this caddy is adjustable, has built in book holder and a built in wine glass holder. And there is a perfect spot to hold a candle.
3. Audible Subscription - $14.95/month @ audible.com
When's the last time you saw a mom actually have time to sit and read a book? Well, with Audible she has the opportunity to use her multitasking skills and listen to a best seller during her commute, or during bath time.

Tech Savy Mom- For the moms who love electronics just as much as the next guy.

1. Harman Kardon Wireless Speaker- $159.95 @ Amazon
This portable speaker is so cool. Whether you have it in the kitchen while cooking or in the yard while tending to your garden, mom is sure to love the portability and the sound.
2. Universal Wireless Charging Pad- $49.99 @ Belkin
Messing around with chords are a thing of the past when you have this. It's simple and convenient.
3. Fitbit Blaze- $149.95 @ Amazon 
For the health conscious mom who wants to tack daily activities in style.

Fashionable Mom- For the mom who can keep it all together and look cute at the same time.

1. Gisela Layered Choker- $16 @ Charming Charlie
This necklace combines the choker, layered and body chain trend all in one. And you can't beat the price.
2. Boc by Born Bucket Crossbody Bag- $24.99 @ TJ Maxx
This crossbody bag is "almost gone" according to their website and I see why, it's super cute.
3. Jennifer Lopez Embroidered Bomber Jacket- $51.99 @ Kohl's
Bomber jacket plus embroidered flower pattern equals on trend cuteness.

Creative or Adventurous Mom- For the mom who keeps her children busy by signing them up in every art, sport and music activity because she knew the importance of a well rounded child. *Note, these places are in the Southeast Michigan area, but I'm sure there are places similar in every metropolitan area.

1. Painting Party- $35 or $45 for a painting session @ Painting With a Twist
Take a couple of moms, add in a little artistic fun and a glass of wine to get those creative juices flowing and you've got a fun night ahead.
2. Ziplining- $48 @ The Adventure Park
Nothing like some fresh air, exercise and adventure to put a smile on mom's face.
3. A fondue dinner- $$$ @ The Melting Pot
A four course meal, melted cheese, chocolate, optional wine. Need I say more?

The Sentimental Mom- For the mom who saves every card and noodle necklace.

1. Homemade or printable cards- Free or $ @ Etsy.com
What mother wouldn't want a card made with love?
2. A heartfelt letter- Free
Tell that mom in your life what makes her special. She's sure to grin from ear to ear.
3. Personalized gifts, like the Large Photo Treat Jar - $39.99 @ Personal Creations

No matter what the cost, I hope you were inspired by this post to get that mother figure in your life a special gift or token to show just how much she means to you.

Do you have a special gift idea? Please share.

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda

Under attack in my own home

 

My family is under attack.  We were busy living our lives and we ignored the signs. Deep down I knew it would happen eventually, but not to this magnitude. All I remember about the day it started are the screams, the terror and the fear. It was on a bright Tuesday morning that we realized that our peace of mind was being challenged and our lives would never be the same. It was on this day that spiders tried to overtake our home.

Anybody who knows me, understands my feelings towards bugs of any kind. I hate them. I have a physical reaction of fear whenever I see them and if I had it my way, they all would be dead. We had seen the warning signs: the weather was getting nicer, we were getting exterminator literature in the mail, and the biggest sign of all- we would cross paths with spider webs in our laundry room quite frequently. Maybe it was denial, or maybe I just didn't want to face the fact that we were going to have to one day acknowledge them and either let them take over or hand over the money to get the house sprayed. 

It really started Monday night when a huge black ant was crawling all over the top of my dresser. He was moving really fast over my books I had lined up in the storage compartment. I called my husband in to "take care of him", and he did, while also looking to see if any of his friends were lurking around. He was alone so that was the end of it, so we thought.

The next morning, while preparing breakfast for my family I spilled blueberries all over the floor. While I was sweeping them up, I saw a huge white spider amongst the fallen and I moved a couple to the side so that I could crush him under my feet. As I was emptying the blueberries into the trash can, my daughter let out a scream that was so terrifying that I thought that Michael Myers, Jason, Freddie and the killer clowns were all standing in my kitchen. I turned around and saw her pointing to the wall that separated the kitchen and the dinning room. The spiders must have heard about the ant going out by himself and decided to bring reinforcements. There he was, another huge white spider and he was angry. He saw what I had just done to his boy so he was frantic and running all over the place. He tried to get away and ran from the wall onto a tote bag that was in the corner of the dinning room. I still had the broom in my hand so without hesitation I swept him to the floor and stomped on him hard. I could feel his body being crushed through my flexible house shoe.

After I went to scrap the remains of the two dead bodies off my shoe into the trash bin I looked at my purse, which was located right next to the tote bag. I saw something there, but wasn't sure. My purse is blue and there seemed to be a beige spot on it. Or is it a shadow? The only light I had was the one from the kitchen, so I turned around, flicked on the light and stared back at another spider. He didn't run like the last one did. He just looked back at me. For about 5 seconds we just stared each other down, waiting for each other to make the move. I noticed my purse was open so I decided it was time to make a go for it before he decided to run towards it and hide out amongst my bank cards and lip gloss. I swept him to the ground too, and he received the same fate as his homies. They thought from past experience that if they came out in a group and triple teamed me that I was going to be scared and run. They thought they had a punk on their hands. But, they found out that when it comes down to protecting my babies, I am a savage and I will not back down until I get every. single. one.

So to the spiders, tell the rest of your family, your cousins the ants, the centipedes, the big fat rolley polley bugs I don't know the names for, and those insects with the pinchers on the end, I am not playing no games with y'all this year. You step up to me, you will get dealt with. I will not be defeated. This is your last and final warning. Oh, and sorry for your loss. #savage

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

Edit note- At press time, the house had been exterminated by my husband who set off foggers instead of calling specialists due to being cheap high costs. 

Speak Life

 

Wow, it's been almost a year since I have graced this page with my presence. I guess you can say I took a pause for the cause. Since that cause was trying to get my life together, I will say it was needed and well worth the wait. 

Nothing much has happened in my life besides the fact of always being stuck between life and goals, stay busy or rest and stick to the budget or treat yo self. I'm happy to say that I am getting closer to making a desision about my next venture. 

One thing I had contemplated was going back to school to get my Master's. I went so far as to fill out a FASFA for student loans, I had narrowed down the school and program I would go to and even had my classes and graduation date planned out. But, as my kids grow and they struggle with their own grades, I feel like that would be selfish of me to further my education when my kids aren't even beyond the basics. I need to help get them thru the hurdle first before I can think about furthering my career. Maybe it's mommy guilt, but it just seemed like a lot to take on right now. 

The other thing I had contemplated was opening up Soul Deep Beauty again. My entrepreneurial spirit just won't let me live. It took a back seat to current life situations, but it still beats in me. That being said, I am cooking up some things that are going to change my life and my status- hello somebody, and I can't wait!

I will step out on faith!

I will trust God!

I will be successful!

I will be bold and confident!

God will make room for my gifts!

I am speaking Life into my situation. Now it's your turn.

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda

Love and Marriage: 3 Signs That You Need Counseling

Marriage is hard, and anyone that tells you it's not, is a lie and the truth ain't in 'em. I didn't expect for marriage to be butterflies and romance on a daily basis, but I also didn't expect it to be emotional standoffs and hostage situations either.  With all the ups and downs of marriage, there may be times when you have to rely on a third party to help you get back on track. Seeing a marriage counselor can help you filter through better ways to stay on #TeamStayTogether.

So how do you know if your just going thru the flux versus needing to see a marriage counselor? Well, here are 3 sure tell signs that you and your mate need to sit on someone's big comfy couch.

1. You don't talk to each other. Nothing can breakdown a relationship like lack of communication. Not too long ago I had to rid myself of the habit of not talking to my husband when I was mad. I could go days with nothing but gestures and one word answers. But, I was reminded that holding a grudge was not helping or healthy.  

2. When you do talk to each other, you argue about the simplest things. I am a little ashamed to admit this, but my husband and I have had an all out, shouting/screaming match that started out over some fries. Yes, McDonald's fries are delicious, but they weren't worth all that, and obviously not the real heart of the matter. The fries were just the straw that broke the camel's back. Talking to a counselor can help you both clarify the real issues and how to fight fair.

3. Lack of affection, intimacy and sex. No affection + no intimacy = no fun. That is not the perfect formula for a happy marriage. As a matter of fact, I believe that if couples had sex more often they would be happier: with each other and with life in general. Sex is good in many ways, it's good for your health, it makes you feel confident and it creates a bond between the couple that is everlasting. Living in a sexless marriage, or a relationship that is lacking affection is not an ideal situation and should be looked into immediately. #HelloSomebody

Of course, there are many other reasons to see a marriage counselor (infidelity, trust issues, blended families, etc), but if your relationship is suffering from any of these above, you need to get it together and call someone quick. These hurdles just open the door for more problems.

Have you ever seen a marriage counselor? How did your relationship benefit from it?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

My Must Have Beauty Products

As a reformed product junkie, I had to cut back on buying beauty products. I had to cut waayyyy back. The amount of beauty products I possessed was crazy. Let me put it to you this way, if the zombie apocalypse hit, I wouldn't have but a few cans of food, but my hair would stay moisturized and tangle free. And should I find clean water to wash my face, it would be #flawless. I would be the cutest zombie in these streets (cause lets face it, I can't run and I get squeamish cutting up chicken so I'm not going to last very long.)

So, since I decided that 1- the zombie apocalypse is not a real thing and 2- my bank account was suffering, it was time to scale back to just the essentials. I want to share with you my 3 must have beauty products: Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant, Dickinson's Witch Hazel and Olay Complete. 

Dermalogica Daily Micro is a water activated exfoliate that balances uneven skin tones by gently removing pore clogging dead skin cells. It has a plethora of good stuff to help smooth and refresh, including salicylic acid, grapefruit, green tea and colloidal oatmeal. It does not have any artificial color or fragrance and is just about the only exfoliate I use. It does carry a hefty price tag of $55 at Ulta for 2.6 oz, but it's worth every drop-(or grain- it's in powder form.)

Dickinson's Original Witch Hazel is an oldie but a goodie. It's been around for years and has 1 ingredient- "all natural distilled witch hazel, containing natural grain alcohol 14% and witch hazel extract." For those who know nothing about toners, what it does is brings the ph balance back to your skin so that you don't leave your pores open and more susceptible to bacteria and breakouts. I use this to get every last bit of makeup off and my skin feels smooth and not in the least bit dry. At only $6 for 16oz, you would be crazy not to at least give it a try.

I have been using Olay Complete since my teenage years. So long so, that it was called Oil of Olay when I first started buying it. I use Olay Complete as my daily moisturizer and my skin loves it. It moisturizes, has SPF 15 for UVA and UVB protection and is lightweight, but effective. I will send out a small word of caution though because it has to be the regular formula for me. I tried the sensitive formula with the SPF 30 and it was so chalky it made my skin look sallow and gray. Because I don't do returns, I sometimes will mix it with my foundation if I'm having an extra dry day. And at around $7, Olay Complete is a great buy.

Those are my essentials, what are yours?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda

30 Day Writing Challenge- Days 28- 30

Day 28- Somewhere I would like to move to or visit
I have been in Michigan all my life and at this moment I don't have any desire to move. The cost of living is too high in New York and Chicago. It's too hot down south. The earth moves and fires blaze for no reason at all on the east coast. So I'm gone sit my happy self down and be satisfied with the bone chilling cold and snow drifts of the midwest for now.

That being said, I would absolutely love to visit all of these regions. I even have a wish list of places I want to travel to.

Chicago- This is probably my husband and I's favorite place to go. We went on our first anniversary, which coinsidentaly happened to be our first real attempt at a honeymoon. Our son was 7 months old, so you can see why.

Vegas- Last time we went to Vegas I was there for a skin care and cosmetics seminar so I didn't get a chance to see everything I wanted to see. We did walk that long strip, we saw the Pirates show, the Bellagio fountain and got lost in just about every casino we went to. We also saw the Prince impersonator's show and it was sooo good. The trip overall was fun, so I definitely want to go again.

Disney World- Who doesn't want to go to the greatest place on earth? Only thing is the greatest place on earth is the most expensive place on earth. So after I save my down payment, we there.

New York- I've never been to the Big Apple, but I want to see everything- Times Square, The Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and I want to eat folded pizza while walking through Central Park. I'm going to look like Hakim and Semmi walking the streets in Coming to America.

State side I would also like to go to Hollywood, Memphis, the Poconos, Myrtle Beach (haven't been since high school), Austin, Texas and New Orleans.

But, I'm going to need my passport for my future cruise to the Carribean, And my trips to Jamaica, Mexico and Brazil.

Day 29- Five weird things I like

I'm weird in general so I don't know if I have a list of things that other people would consider weird because I don't think about what I like compared to other people. Instead, I'll give you a five random facts about me.

1. My favorite color is purple, though I can be persuaded to also love green.

2. My top 5 favorite movies are The Last Dragon, Coming to America, The Color Purple, The Wiz and The Temptations.

3. I am not an early bird or a night owl- anything before 9am or after 10pm is torture for me.

4. I have written enough poetry over the years to publish a book.

5. I secretly (well, not anymore) want to sing background for any major recording artist at least once in my lifetime. 

Day 30- One thing I'm excited for

Basically, I'm excited about my future. I'm excited about the things this life is going to bring. I know that things won't always be easy, but I know anything worth having is worth fighting for.

I'm excited to see the love between my husband and I continue to grow and I'm excited to see how the example we set for our children effects their lives. 

Lastly, I'm excited to see where my writing will take me. It's not only an outlet for me, as a person who is rarely vocal in real life, but I would also like to encourage people to do what they want to do regardless of the accolades or recognition. Do what you know you were sent here to do. 

Inspirationaly yours and Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda 

30 Day Writing Challenge- Days 25- 27

Day 25- Something I am currently worrying about

Well, this is a tough one because generally I try not to worry about things. Being worried about stuff only adds stress and wrinkles and ain't nobody got time for that. But, there are some things that I "ponder" over, pray about and just leave alone. One of those things is my career/passions. I want to find a job that involves my passion and so I am on a quest to 1- figure out what my passions are and 2- figure out how I can parlay that into some cash flow. 

I love to write, but my history of writing has not given me a check yet. I wrote for a local magazine for a year for free for the exposure and the experience and while I enjoyed it, I was hoping it would be a stepping stool for more opportunities. I also have been writing this blog for going on 6 years now and I have not nearly the amount of followers and readers that I should. I know that's mostly my fault because I don't promote it like I should. But I'm funny, darn it. (I be cracking myself up.) And my whole purpose was to lift people up. And talk about make-up and fashion. And brag about my kids. But, the blogs and sites that are out here spreading gossip and promoting fights, racism and hatred against yourself and your people are the ones making headlines, not to mention money-hand over fist. 

Day 26- Things you like and dislike about yourself

I like everything about myself- I'm perfect. Well, not really, but you can't get any closer to perfection than me, baby. Of course, I'm cracking up as I write this. The truth is I always consider myself to be a work in progress. I guess that's one thing I like about myself. Also, I have a crazy sense of humor, I'm not about any drama, I don't lie (which is a blessing and a curse), I have a positive attitude (most of the time), and I am creative and can think like there is no box. I also have a unique fashion sense, I love the way I look and I can make a dollar out of a dime.

Now, it's not all roses over here, I do have some flaws. I mentioned that I don't like to lie, so instead of doing so, I will either avoid a person or a situation like the plague or throw up that palm and plead the 5th.

Source

No, it's not always the best thing to do because the truth sets one free, but I have been known to cause tears from my truths so I'll just save the friendships I have and leave it alone. 

The other major flaw I have, and ya'll better not tell my husband this. I mean it. I will never hear the end of it if he knows I admitted this, but...(in a whisper) I can be selfish. (Gasps.) Yes, I, mother, queen of the earth, the natural born nurturer can be selfish. Now, don't get me wrong, I have and will give my last to someone in need, I will be there for people even when they are no where in sight for me. I will pray for those who I know ain't even thought about me, but there are two things that I'm sorry, but you gone have to fight me over. My snacks and my family/friends. 

I'm a big girl. I eat snacks and no, I'm not always willing to share. My crumb snatchers adorable children will ignore me all day, but the minute I ruffle a  pack of cookies, here they come wanting to give out hugs. No, I don't want no hug right now. Mommy will get at you when I'm done with these Chips Ahoy. 

And when I say I'm selfish with my family/friends I just mean I give all newcomers the side eye before I invoke my complete trust that what happens among family/friends will stay among family/friends. I'm also selfish in the fact that I don't like when I'm talking to someone in my circle and somebody else just walk up and start talking. For example, I was having lunch with my husband  yesterday in his break room at work. He bought me some froyo, so I was there all happy in the afterglow. I'm talking to him and he's looking at me and then the next thing I know he looks to my right and says something that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. The convo continued like this:

Me- What? (Confused look.)

Him- Oh, she was asking me about the Walking Dead, She's trying to catch up. (His head points in the direction to somebody behind me.)

Me- (Looks over my shoulder to see who "she" is. Makes eye contact. Turns back around.) So you gone talk to me or them? 

Him- Ohh. (Looks down into his yogurt cup like I just put him on punishment, but with a smirk on his face.)

Now, I may have been a little rude in my delivery but "she" was rude for being 2 tables away yelling across the room just because she wanted to be seen. I don't play that. There were actual words coming out of my mouth and since my husband is too nice to tell people they are wrong, I passive aggressively did it for him. So bye, Felicia. Now that I'm looking at this, I don't know if this is still considered selfish or if it should fall into jealous territory. Ohh well. Like I said, I'm a work in progress. 

Day 27- A quote you try to live by

Now, how ya'll gone ask me to get all deep after I done showed you how I go off on people? Well, let me put my Soul Sista hat on and hit you with a few of my favorite quotes. 

My life mantra has always been, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."- Philippians 4:13.

I also live by the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."- Luke 6:31.

Other quotes that I love and have relied on from time to time are below.

What's your favorite quote?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,

Rhonda

30 Day Challenge- Days 22-24

Day 22- My Academics
There's one thing I truly believe in and that is education. As I mentioned in Day 9's post, I will take a class in a heart beat because I am naturally curious and intrigued by a lot of things. I have taken classes for make-up, sewing and dance in my adult life. As far as college/ trade school education, I received my bachelors degree in 2003, then I graduated from Michigan College of Beauty, followed by Astute Artistry in 2010 and now, I am considering pursing my master's in counseling. It's still a decision I am pondering/praying on and I will know the answer eventually. I'll keep you posted on my final decision.


Day 23- Something that I miss
Truth be told, I miss dancing. Not the two step, or praise dancing. I do that every Sunday. What I miss is that dancing that makes you feel free, where the music is flowing through your veins and the only way to let it go is to hip drop or twerk it out. Dancing is the best exercise for me because it's fun, it involves music and if you doing it right it can help you bring sexy back.

Look, don't judge me. I am saved, sanctified and filled with the holy ghost, but I can hip roll with the best of them. The last time I felt a little twerk in my spirit, I went in my basement, put Pandora on the Missy Elliot station and got it in. Sometimes I belly dance too. I just put my hip scarf on and shang-a-lang-a-lang to whatever song comes on. S/N- the most recent cut I've been chiming to is Prince's "1,000 X's and O's" (may he rest in peace). Seeing as I don't go out like that anymore, it's been a while since I had these hips rocking to some Bey and Rhianna out of the comfort of my own home, but I wouldn't be against it if I could find a place that I'm comfortable in and where people actually dance and not sit there and stare at you like you crazy.


Day 24- Five Phrases That Make Me Laugh
I am either too tired, or this topic is too vague for me to comprehend right now. I laugh at everything. I believe that laughter is the best medicine and life is too short to be so serious all the time. I also peep everything, so say we are in a room full of people and something happens that nobody else seems to notice, I will scan the room to see if anybody else saw. Then at that beautiful moment when our eyes meet and we both have that look of disbelief, I just crack up. Don't judge me, you know you've done it too.

I honestly can't think of phrases that make me laugh right now. I can't even think of funny quotes from movies...Hmmm...I love watching stand-up on Comedy Central. Yeah, let's go with that. My fav's are Kevin Heart and Chris Rock. I watch their specials anytime I see them on. I love Kevin because he's an awesome story teller. Chris is good because he is smart and political and will have you thinking about some things afterwards. The same with Trevor Noah (the new host of the Daily Show). I've only seen two of his specials, but he was really good. And, an honorable mention goes out to the pimp himself- Katt Williams. Yes, he curses. ALOT. And he is crazy (in real life). But, his specials literally have me crying.

I think I'm going to go watch some comedy shows on Netflix. How bout you?

Wishing you Love, peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
 Rhonda 

30 Day Challenge- Days 19-21

Day 19- Five Items I Lust After
I don't know that I actually lust after items because, even though I do like pretty things, the way my bank account is set up...well, you should know the rest. But, I guess I do have things that I buy that I have an inner dialogue with myself about. It usually goes something like this:

Me- Ohh, what's that?
Me- Something that you don't need.
Me- Yes, I do. I've been looking for this for a minute.
Me- But, do you need it right now?
Me- Yes.
Me- Are you sure?
Me- Yes.
Me- How much is it? Can you afford it?
Me- Oh, it's only (fill in the blank)
Me- (Does mental math of current bank account statement.) Okay, we good. Let's hurry up to the register before I change my mind.
Me- Can I get two?
Me- (Takes a moment to think about it.) No.

1. Books- When I go to the book store, I have to put myself on a limit. The last time I went, I had to go sit on the out skirts of the bookstore, arms full of books and narrow down my decision to only two choices.
2. Make-up- What little girl, or grown woman for that matter, doesn't love to play in make-up? I have to set my budget for the beauty stores as well. I haven't been on the right side of Ulta in forever because my budget won't allow it.
3. Hair Products- As a recovering product junkie, my hair has seen it all. And with the crazy swarm of natural hair products that have overtaken every store I frequent (Target, Walgreens and Walmart). I have to stay strict to my one/no more than two product(s) at a time philosophy. And since I have currently used up all the excess products I was stock piling for that zombie apocalypse, I guess it's time for me to talk myself down from total product relapse.  
4. Clothes- I am addicted to thrift shopping. I love it. There is hardly a feeling that is greater than finding a cute name brand item for $2.59. I feel like I won the lottery each and every time. And don't let me have a half off coupon, I feel like I'm balling out of control.
5. Ice Cream- If you want to know the way to my heart, just buy me some ice cream or froyo. As we speak I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to redeem my $3 off my next treat from Orange Leaf.


Day 20- My Fears-
I'm kind of cheating with this entry because it is from a post from 2013, but it is still how I feel about fear. So here goes.

I hate fear. It is a crippling emotion that can either cause you to do stupid things or keep you from reaching your destiny. I've given too much power to fear and I have come to the point in my life where fear is no longer allowed. The funny thing about it is that I saw myself as fearless because I was able to accomplish just about everything I set my mind to. Not realizing that it was because I'm a smart girl and a lot of things come easy to me (not bragging, it just is what it is).

But, when it came to friendships/ relationships with those around me, I was a mess. I'm sure we all have been stabbed in the back and gotten our feelings hurt, but fear of being the fool twice stops us from our full loving/ giving/ nurturing potential and it keeps us guarded from the one thing we want most- love. Now, if this is too deep for you, feel free to move on, but I am a realist and I know that the only way to conquer something is to confront it. I've decided to fight my fears head on.

Don't get me wrong, it's not going to be easy, but anything worth having is worth fighting for. Because I'm a logical person I used to let my head talk my heart out of or into something that I knew was not the best option for me. Why? Because fear would tell me that I would be lonely, or I would miss out or people are fake and they'll just play me. The fear of failure has stopped so many people in their tracks that they are defeated before they even begin and next thing you know, years have passed and nothing has changed. If you not moving up, then what you doing? Wasting time.

The other (if not the most important) reason me and fear are not friends is because acting out of fear makes faith jealous. If I'm something like the Christian I claim to be, then my faith should overcome my fears. But, fear being the old trickster that she is comes in many forms. She can sneak into your mind at the most inappropriate times and come from the mouths of people you love and trust. The best way to deal with her is to recognize her and tell her to go have several seats cause you not dealing with her.

So here's my declaration for myself- fear is a lie and it will not prevent me from reaching my God given destiny. I'm telling fear to kick rocks. I suggest you do the same.


Day 21- What I Hope My Future Will Be Like
When I think about my future, the main thing I want to be is happy and healthy. After that, I want to travel and eat the best cuisine. I see my husband and I laid up on the sandy beaches of the Caribbean (sexy beach bodies included), sipping tropical drinks and soaking up the beauty that God has created. I also see my kids being offered full scholarships to the college/university of their choice. We have found jobs/careers that satisfy us and that we look forward to doing everyday, along with hobbies that not only make us feel renewed, but give us some extra cash flow as well. Yes, my future looks very bright. I plan to be surrounded with the ones I love, living the good life. I may not be a millionaire in earning potential, but I will be one in love, life and health.

What's your future look like?

Wishing you Love, Peace and Soul Deep Beauty,
Rhonda