Love and Marriage: Marriage Advice for #TeamStayTogether

This is a re-post, originally posted on April 24th, 2015. Enjoy!

As my husband and I come up on our 10th Anniversary, I can't help but think about our relationship when we first started out as newlyweds. We were the first of our friends to get married and all we had to go on was instinct and the advise of our parents and grandparents. Did we listen to them all, of course not, but I still wanted to share a few that are definitely worth sharing and incorporating into your relationship. #TeamStayTogether can be challenging, so I'm doing my part to keep hope alive.

1. Don't go to bed angry. It took me a long time to get with the program on this one. I thought there were only 2 options: 1- stay up to un-holy hours of the night arguing talking to my husband till we worked it out or 2- just shut it down and be mad that night and again all morning the next day. Then one day I realized that my beauty sleep and my sanity had taken too much of a beating and I learned 8 magical words: "We gone have to agree to disagree. Good-night." Will we discuss it the next day, probably. Will I worry about it at 10 o'clock at night- nope.

2. Kiss everyday. There is research out there somewhere that shows that kissing is good for you. It releases those feel good endorphins, amps up the romance and helps remind you of the reason you got together in the first place. You may not have time, or privacy for those teen-age makeout sessions, but make sure you smooch it out with your sweetie.

3. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't nobody have time to argue over every little thing. Yes, I know you have asked your man a thousand times to replace the bag when he takes the trash out (one of my pet peeves), but when he doesn't don't trip. Just continue throwing the garbage in the can as if he did, so the next time when he has to empty and clean the can out, he'll make sure he replaces that bag. It's a little passive aggressive, but it beats fussing about it again. I'm just saying.

4. Say I love you everyday. I am not a very affectionate person. Don't know why, I'm just not, but it wasn't until I got married that I realized how much weight these 3 little words really carry. We can get on each other's last good nerve, not talk all day and roll our eyes when the other person talks, but at the end of the day "I love you" pretty much means that all is forgiven and everything is all right.

5. The 80/ 20 Rule for Relationships. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married put me up on this rule saying that in most healthy relationships, we only get 80% of what we want and it's in that search for the 20% that either drives us crazy or causes people to stray. Remembering that life is not perfect, and neither is your spouse will help you get things back into perspective.

6. Forgive and forget. It's nothing worse than having what I like to call the "forever" argument. This is when couples who have been together forever start bringing up stuff that happened forever ago just to make a point. You may have forgiven, but with that you have to at least pretend that you forgot. We are no longer allowed to bring up things that happened pre-marriage, pre-kids or pre-marital counseling. We try our best not to bring up things that happened last week, let alone last year. You know that you have truly forgiven someone when you don't use it and throw it up in their face.

7. Learn to live in the grey area. I can be very cut throat at times: you're either right or wrong, you're going to do it, or not do it, I either like you or I don't. I don't leave much room for interpretation. So, I had to learn that with marriage, everything isn't always black and white, we will not always agree, we will not always get along, there may be times where we just can't get it together. But, it's in those moments, when we are pushed to our limits that our faith in each other is tested and we come out the other end stronger than when we started.

Those are my tips, please share yours.

Forever Loving My B.A.D.D. Kids (and my Husband),
Rhonda

The Redden Report- Last Minute Mother's Day Gifts

So Mother's Day is this Sunday and if you have not gotten your mother or that special mother figure in your life a gift yet, shame on you you still have time. And I am going to do you a favor and give you some ideas for the special lady in your life whether it is your wife, sister, mom or grandmother that you are looking to buy gifts for. Not to knock the gas station flower and balloon entrepreneurs, but it's time to step our game up in 2017.

So here are a few ideas for that mother in your life.

Make-up Loving Mom- If the mother you know has the gift of looking flawless despite her somewhat hectic life, she may love the following gifts.

1. Urban Decay Full Spectrum Palette- $32, Limited Edition @ Sephora
The colors are cute and the price is right. I would snatch this limited edition palette up real quick before it's no longer available.
2. Foreo Luna play- $39 @ Sephora
This textured silicone cleansing devise sends sonic waves to enhance deep pore cleansing. But, be warned, this is the non-rechargeable price point that estimates 100 uses. The chargeable Luna starts at $100.
3. Philosophy Cleanse, Refine and Renew Kit- $75 @ Ulta
With this cleanser, two step peel and award winning moisturizer, you can't go wrong.

Laid Back Mom- The mom we all aspire to be.

1. Mom- Yellow Bath Bomb- $7.95 @ Lush
As a bougie bath taker, I love bath bombs of any kind. This one from Lush with the scent of rose and lemon is heavenly.
2. Umbra Aquala Bathtb Caddy- $39 @ JCPenny
I like the fact that this caddy is adjustable, has built in book holder and a built in wine glass holder. And there is a perfect spot to hold a candle.
3. Audible Subscription - $14.95/month @ audible.com
When's the last time you saw a mom actually have time to sit and read a book? Well, with Audible she has the opportunity to use her multitasking skills and listen to a best seller during her commute, or during bath time.

Tech Savy Mom- For the moms who love electronics just as much as the next guy.

1. Harman Kardon Wireless Speaker- $159.95 @ Amazon
This portable speaker is so cool. Whether you have it in the kitchen while cooking or in the yard while tending to your garden, mom is sure to love the portability and the sound.
2. Universal Wireless Charging Pad- $49.99 @ Belkin
Messing around with chords are a thing of the past when you have this. It's simple and convenient.
3. Fitbit Blaze- $149.95 @ Amazon 
For the health conscious mom who wants to tack daily activities in style.

Fashionable Mom- For the mom who can keep it all together and look cute at the same time.

1. Gisela Layered Choker- $16 @ Charming Charlie
This necklace combines the choker, layered and body chain trend all in one. And you can't beat the price.
2. Boc by Born Bucket Crossbody Bag- $24.99 @ TJ Maxx
This crossbody bag is "almost gone" according to their website and I see why, it's super cute.
3. Jennifer Lopez Embroidered Bomber Jacket- $51.99 @ Kohl's
Bomber jacket plus embroidered flower pattern equals on trend cuteness.

Creative or Adventurous Mom- For the mom who keeps her children busy by signing them up in every art, sport and music activity because she knew the importance of a well rounded child. *Note, these places are in the Southeast Michigan area, but I'm sure there are places similar in every metropolitan area.

1. Painting Party- $35 or $45 for a painting session @ Painting With a Twist
Take a couple of moms, add in a little artistic fun and a glass of wine to get those creative juices flowing and you've got a fun night ahead.
2. Ziplining- $48 @ The Adventure Park
Nothing like some fresh air, exercise and adventure to put a smile on mom's face.
3. A fondue dinner- $$$ @ The Melting Pot
A four course meal, melted cheese, chocolate, optional wine. Need I say more?

The Sentimental Mom- For the mom who saves every card and noodle necklace.

1. Homemade or printable cards- Free or $ @ Etsy.com
What mother wouldn't want a card made with love?
2. A heartfelt letter- Free
Tell that mom in your life what makes her special. She's sure to grin from ear to ear.
3. Personalized gifts, like the Large Photo Treat Jar - $39.99 @ Personal Creations

No matter what the cost, I hope you were inspired by this post to get that mother figure in your life a special gift or token to show just how much she means to you.

Do you have a special gift idea? Please share.

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda

What I really want for Mother's Day- A Mother's Confession

My husband has been asking me all week what I want for Mother's Day. I guess he wants me to make it easy for him and either say, "Oh, whatever you get me is fine" or "Baby, I don't want anything. Your love is enough." 

Well, that ain't gone happen. I want the best you got to give. It doesn't have to cost anything or be this big extravagant event. If all he has is time to give, then I'll take it. Truth be told, after sleeping in (which is out of the question because we are in church every Sunday), I don't really know what I want.

But, I do know what I don't want:

If the meal prepared leaves my kitchen a mess, no thanks.
If the gift received makes me ashamed of myself the next day (i.e- a box of candy that I devour before midnight)- no thanks.
If I have to wear a bra, high heels and Spanks for an extended length of time- no thanks.
If I have to entertain other people- no thanks.
If I have to be entertained by other people and sit in awkward silence- no thanks.
If I will be designated the "kid watcher" while everyone else gets to relax and have fun- no thanks.

Of course I'm being silly, I will except any of the above (maybe) and the standard card, flowers and candy is fine, but sometimes mothers want something with a little more thought into it. Something that lets us know that our family is really paying attention to us. I will cherish every home made card that my kids give me because I know that it came from the purest place of love.

As a mother, I now know the importance of simply wanting to feel like I am appreciated, that my words don't fall on deaf ears and that every sacrifice I've made for my family has all been worth it.

Of course there are some that say mother's should be celebrated everyday and not just on Mother's Day, which is true. But, if you are not one of those people, get it together and get that mother figure in your life something special.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Forever Loving My B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

Love and Marriage: A Year of Dates- March

Well, once again, parenthood took a front seat to our date night and my husband and I spent our evening with not only our kids, but several others. If you saw February's date night post, then you may be realizing that they are not going as planned.

Here's what we were supposed to be doing: A night out on the town in a surrounding city that we don't frequent too often. I had chosen Royal Oak, because it's been at least 2 or 3 years since my business closed and I haven't been there in a while. I am definitely a foodie and wanted to hit up a couple of places on Main St.

Mission Impossible

But, as our date night approached, my popular children were invited to not one, but 3 birthday parties that Friday and Saturday, so our date night was spent at Pump it Up and Air Time. Our kids are old enough that we don't have to chase them around, we just make sure we get our eyes on them every now and then. I usually get irritated going to places like these because everybody's children aren't as well behaved as mine :) but everything flowed smoothly and I didn't feel the need to snatch somebody's kid up not once. Plus, my husband had as much fun as the kids did.

My husband @ Pump It Up.

My kids and their friends at Air Time.

There was music, pizza and ice cream and cake times two, so I had no complaints (as you know, I can eat). We'll get our official date night eventually. Until then, I guess the family date nights will do.

Any ideas for a family date night?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
 Rhonda

My Life in Pictures: The Uninvited Guest

It has been quite a week for me and I am pretty exhausted by it all. Here's what happened...

1.

1. It was parent teacher conference time and this time around the kids had to run the show. There were power point presentations and group projects that were very impressive for elementary school. My kids are doing great, as I expected and are both above their reading level. Another proud mommy moment for me.

2.

2. I have been contemplating a trim/cut for a while now and when I saw the shapes if these wigs on Instagram I knew it was about to go down. As soon as I make my final decision on the diva cut I want, me and my scissors are going to have at it. I'll keep you posted.

3.

3. So there's my hubby, my hero, who went in a ditch to get my tire that had popped off my car while I was driving. He told me to come home when I complained of the shaking and rattling noises I was hearing. I didn't want to cause I had things to do, but I'm so glad that I did because things could have been a whole lot worse if I was still on the highway. Thank God for his intuition.

4.

4. We had an uninvited guest staying in our garage this week. We don't know how long he was there or where in the world he was hiding, but the other morning as we starred each other down, I knew he had to go. Thanks to my neighbors, who are equipped with just about everything, we were able to trap the possum and are going to call animal control to come get him. This defiantly was better than the alternative which would have involved my husband and I screaming and having a fit trying to chase him up out of there.

That was my eventful week, how was yours?

Rhonda

The Mom Timeout

I need a timeout. I have been pulled in a million directions and want to give my superwoman cape a rest. After last week's happenings, I have reached the point where I just need to be sent to my room or told to face the wall in the corner before I loose it. Since, I know that's not going to happen, I'm going to take myself away from some situations by putting myself on a time out.

So here's a short list of some things I plan to do all by my lonesome to relax, relate and release.

My fun things to do alone:
Go to the movies. I am no stranger to hitting the theatre alone. I actually prefer it. I get to eat all my nachos and I don't have to share the armrest.

Go to lunch or dinner. Although I frequent Panera Bread as my solo lunch spot, anywhere good food is, I will follow.

Get ice cream or froyo. I am not ashamed of ordering a waffle bowl sundae and eating it in the store or in my car. In my own ride I get to listen to music I want to hear.

Go to a museum. I love anything artistic and there is nothing like going to the Detroit Institute of Arts and looking at all the work on display. It gets your mind off the crazy day to day and helps you focus on what's beautiful in the world.

Have a spa day. It's time to woosahh, believe me your body will thank you for it.

Explore the bookstore. I am still a book person. I love the feel and smell of books, the art of holding something tangible. I could, and have spent hours in a bookstore before and it is awesome.

People watch at the mall. People are very interesting, especially when they think nobody is watching. Plus, it's a small world so you might run into somebody you know.

Go for a walk. As we all know, exercise releases those feel good endorphins and you can up the ante by walking a nice bike trail or at the park.

Shop. Speaking of endorphins, my heart skips a beat when I find something cute on sale. And although I love internet shopping, I have to admit that the instant gratification of carrying bags home is more satisfying than having to wait patiently for my package to come in the mail.

Stay the night at a hotel. Sometimes I like to reflect back to the time when I was single (spoken for, but not married), no kids and I stayed by my doggone self. Not that I don't love my family, but there is no such thing as privacy. Sometimes I just need a moment to just be to myself and reboot. In a perfect world, I would take a week-end and do all of the above.

So that's my mommy timeout list, what's yours?

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,
Rhonda