Inner Beauty: I am and I can

So I have decided that I am going to lose 30 pounds. It's something that I have been wanting to do for a while now, but after my last failed attempt I became a little discouraged. I plan to do it the slowly but surely way by losing one pound a week. Not because I lack confidence and dont' love my body, but because there is a healthier, happier me on the inside that is just dying to show her face. I haven't seen her since college, but I can just imagine that she is as fun and exciting as I remember her.

In my quest for weight loss advise, I came across a fitness expert by the name of Kacy Duke and her program helps women get their body, minds and spirits in line. Her motto is, "I Am, I Can, I Do." And she tells us to start by writing out 15-20 positive statements about our attributes, talents and strengths using "I am" or "I have" phrases. I started out with 10, and mine are.

- I am confident.
- I am smart.
- I am beautiful.
- I am determined.
- I have healthy skin and hair.
- I have big beautiful eyes.
- I have a good sense of humor.
- I am giving.
- I am fun.
- I have joy in my heart.

Then, she says to combine some of your goals with those attributes to make "I can" and "I will" statements. And what these do is help you "silence that nagging inner critic and move (you) forward to your ultimate goal." Here are my statements.

- I am confident. I will walk proud.
- I am smart. I can think my way out of any situation.
- I am beautiful. I will never down talk myself.
- I am determined. I will lose the weight.
- I have healthy skin and hair. I will keep it that way.
- I have big, beautiful eyes. I will use them to see the good in people.
- I have a good sense of humor. I will laugh as if I've never known pain.
- I am giving. I will remember to give to myself, too.
- I am fun. I can turn a party out.
- I have joy in my heart. I will never forget where my joy comes from.

The "I Do" part of her program tells us to try something new that we've always wanted to do to amp up our weight loss when we have hit a plateau. I just bought some inline skates (along with knee, elbow and wrist guards) last week, so as soon as a actually learn how to inline skate, I'll be good to go. 

I believe in affirmations and that what you put out in the universe comes to pass. This is a good step and good motivation towards any goal your trying to achieve. Share some of your statements with me, it may be the encouragement that someone needs.  

Inner Beauty: Learning to let it go.

I will be the first to admit that I am a grudge holder. It's not something that I'm proud of, but because I am a work in progress I can honestly say that this one thing I now to be true. If someone makes me mad or makes me feel disrespected I will either not talk to them for a while or stop talking to them all together. I have let a few friendships fall by the waist side because I felt they weren't as true a friend to me as I was to them. I even stopped talking to a very close family member for years because my feelings were hurt.

It wasn't until I learned about forgiveness that I was able to let go of the hurt that I was feeling. I have heard many times that forgiveness is more about you than it is about the other person. There I was mad at not only that particular man, but all men. In my eyes they weren't trustworthy and I felt they would do nothing but abandon me. When I finally chose to let it go and forgive him, it was like I could breath again. My relationship with him, and other men in my life got better.

Another issue that I have learned to let go of was a little bit more difficult. I have learned that you can not carry other peoples burdens. As much as you may love them and want nothing but the best for them, misery truly does love company and it moves like a parasite draining you of all hope and positivity. When you turn other peoples burdens into your own they can fester. And even when things are going right in your own life, the thought of what the other person is going through causes you to negate your own blessings and opportunities.

Now I'm not saying that if someone calls you with some bad news, you say you don't want to hear none of that and hang up on them. Take their struggle to heart and help them in any way that you can without over extending yourself in the process. If someone is sick, help them out the best way you can but don't forget about your own health. If you know that a friend is having financial trouble, help them within your own means. You can't give them money and then not know how you are going to pay your own rent.

That is where faith comes in. Learning to let things go and live happily despite the situation is the truest testament of faith. So deal with the situation as best as you can then, let it go.

Books that changed my point of view

I've always had dreams of being a writer. And a good writer should love to read. I never thought I would find myself in the "self help" isles of the book store or virtual book shelf, but I have been reading more non-fiction books as of late. A self-help book will only take you as far as you let it. So here is a list of books that I have read in the past year or so that have helped me look at life a little bit differently. They are in no particular order.

1. Thank God I'm Natural: The Ultimate Guide to Caring for and Maintaining Natural Hair by Chris-Tia E. Donaldson. My hair has been natural (no relaxers) for five or six years now and I have never had the desire to go back to chemically straightening my hair. Then, when I read this book, it not only confirmed that fact for me but also opened up my eyes to how to take care of my natural tresses the correct way. Not only that, but Donaldson gave me the confidence to be naturally me even in the corporate world. If someone doesn't like my hair, that's their problem. I love rocking my kinky curly dos and hope that my hair can be an extension of my personality: big and free.

2. Daily Spiritual Refreshment for Women Journal, through Barbour Publishing. I use this journal, along with my Everyday Study Bible to reflect on life's little lessons and how to live it to the fullest. Everyday there is a bible verse and a little except. Today's entry was about the beauty in you and the verse was from Proverbs 16:2, "Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good: God probes for what is good."

3. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and Straight Talk, No Chaser, by Steve Harvey. "Where were these two books when me and my husband were dating?" is what I asked myself when I finished with the first one. I listen to Steve Harvey's radio show everyday, but he went into detail on why men and women are so different and he gave some insider secrets on how the male mind operates. He left me feeling that I could (eventually) understand where my husband is coming from and get us on a even playing field.

4. Get Yours! How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More, by Amy DeBois Barnett. This book was a really down to earth guide on everything from your health, career, money and men. There was even sections in every chapter for you to journal what you can do today, this year, forever and always to get the life you want to live.

5. Now is the time to do what you love: How to make the career move that will change your life, by Nancy Whitney-Reitner. This book is what jumped started my skin care business. While I was out putting in applications at day spas, trying to figure out how I was going to handle two jobs, with two bosses and two sets of rules I was going to have to live by, this book helped me to realize that it was time to set my own rules. Whitney-Reitner is very inspiring with her stories of success and heartache. She gives reality checks to see if you're even ready to make the move you want. And if you are, how to make that transition without making mistakes that could leave you broke or half-crazy.

6. The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. When I first heard about this book on Oprah, I was half listening because I'm not the jump on the bandwagon type of person and truthfully, I thought it was weird. I am an open minded person, but I like to make judgements for myself. That's why when a co-worker started talking about it just recently, I asked if I could borrow it. Spoiler alert, the law of attraction sounds easy, but to be able to practice it everyday is hard. See, I just went against it right there. It's about being positive, saying positive things and living a positive life. I am often pessimistic, so this is a hard lesson for me. But, I noticed that whenever I set my self up for disappointment, I was in fact disappointed. So now I'm trying to change my point of view and live life in such a way that I'm open to all the good that God has for me.

Six secrets to great skin

During my skin consultations that I have for my clients, I ask each client what their skin care goal is, and almost everybody says they want clear, more even toned skin. Although genetics and environmental factors have a lot to do with the conditions of our skin, there are 6 simple things that everybody can do to head down the road to healthy looking skin. 

1. Wear SPF daily. I don't care if it's cloudy or you only have to walk from the door to the car, sun rays penetrate through clouds and glass, and they can be very damaging to facial skin. Where did that freckle or mole come from? More than likely, it's sun damage. This applies to black women too. Most skin care brands have combined SPF in their products like moisturizers, foundations and lip balms, so there is no excuse.

2. Drink plenty of water. I am guilty of not drinking my 8 glasses of water a day, but if I don't get at least 2-3, my face will tell the story. Dehydrated skin is lackluster, dry, more prone to sensitivity and accentuates flaws and blemishes like a highlighter. So drink up.

3. Get plenty of sleep. They don't call it beauty sleep for no reason because it's during that rest time that your skin is at work repairing itself from all the stress you've caused it all day. Why do you think night creams work so well? That's the only time where you can put something on your face and not have the product fighting against makeup, sun, rain, wind and other environmental factors and it can just do what it was made to do. Plus, having droopy and tired eyes is not a good look.

4. Wash your face at night. Sometimes I'm so tired at night I can barely hold myself up in the shower, but I found the best thing to use even if I'm already laying in the bed: facial wipes. It's a quick fix to the ugly problem of clogged pores. As mentioned above, your skin needs time to rest and rejuvenate at night, but it can't do it properly when trying to fight through layers of sweat and makeup.

5. Exercise. Yes, I know you've heard it a thousand times, but you're going to hear it at least once more. Exercising and keeping your body moving helps your skin by getting that blood flowing and helping with skin cell production. Plus, as many experts say, those feel good hormones are released in the body with exercise and we all know that when you fell good, you look good. You can't help but to glow from the inside out. Yes, it may be a struggle and you may find that you're pressed for time, but start with something, anything. It's good for your health.

6. Find trust in a skin care professional. Now, I don't just say this because I am a skin care therapist, but because it is true. Having someone who is on your side and wants to help you reach your skin care goals can be such a positive thing. Your skin care expert can help you with a regular at home regimen, as well as recommend different treatments that can help jump start skin recovery. If putting your best face forward is important to you, then realize that that having a skin care professional is a necessary luxury.

So there you have several easy steps that you can do that are not only simple, but doable. To find out more about my skin care business, Soul Deep Beauty Skin Therapy, just click on the link.

Free Skin Care Analysis

Do you know your skin type? Do you know the best skin care products to use for your type? Do you have a skin care specialist that you trust to advise you towards healthy skin? If your answer to any of these is "no", then you need to take advantage of this special oppurtunity:

On Saturday, March 5th from 12 pm - 2 pm., I am offering free skin care analysis. It will be a 15-20 minute skin consultation to discover skin type and skin conditions and also help you to come up with a healthy skin care regimen.

You don't want to pass up this oppurtunity. Make the first step towards healthy, radiant skin. Space is limited, so contact me today. For more information about me or my business, go to Soul Deep Beauty Skin Therapy on the web.

Don't know about you, but I need some Vitamin D.

The one thing that I dislike about the winter (besides the bitter cold) is the lack of sunlight. I find myself in a funk lately. I'm more tired than usual, moody and craving carbs. (And no, I'm not pregnant.) When I got off of work the other day it was nothing but sunshine. I stopped at the grocery store to get a few items and when I came out, it was officially night time. Are you serious? That's all the sun I get: 30- 45 minutes?

That's when I remember SAD, seasonal affective disorder. It's pretty much what we call the winter blues because we suffer from a lack of sunlight and our days are shorter. I love the sun. It makes me more active which typically puts me in a better mood. The sun also provides vitamin d, which is essential for strong teeth and bones, enhances the absorption of other vitamins, and it helps in skin metabolism and growth.

The two most common ways to absorb vitamin d are through foods and/or supplements and sun exposure. Foods that are good sources for vitamin d are: milk, cold liver oil, salmon, mackerel, sardines, tuna, egg yolks, beef liver and fortified cereals. Looking at that list makes me realize why a lot of people prefer supplements.

Though sunlight exposure is the best way to absorb vitamin d, you have to be very careful because too much sun (on unprotected skin) can lead to premature aging and the all too common skin cancer. I have read that just five to ten minutes of "summer" sun on unprotected skin like your hands, arms or back is enough to produce the needed amount of daily vitamin d. Some people choose to do light therapy during those fall and winter months where there is less sun.

So how do you know when you might be vitamin d deficient? The best way is through a blood test, but here are a few signs that the test may be necessary:
   - tooth decay
   - lack of energy
   - trouble sleeping or insomnia
   - nervousness
   - diarrhoea

I guess I'll have to sit under a couple of lamps and drink milk until I can get my daily dose of sunshine.

Dare to be . . . a wild thing

At my company, Soul Deep Beauty Skin Therapy, I am not only focused on helping people take the lead in realizing the importance of skin care, but I also want to  help encourage both men and women to take the lead in their own personal lives. Encouragement can help empower, and it's life's little experiences that help get us to our big goals.

I decided to start a "Dare To Be" campaign. This journey will be little baby steps towards living outside the box. Not all steps will be for both men and women (unless that's your thing), but it's just a way to experience things we never have before.

So, my latest "Dare to Be" project involves the call of the wild...animal prints. I'm a plus sized girl, so I have always walked on the side of caution when it came to animal print. (Insert whatever animal related joke here.) But, I do remember having an outfit years ago with a skin tight long sleeve leopard print shirt and a pair of faux leather pants that I loved to wear when I was in high school. Of course I have surpassed the size of both the shirt and the pants, but if I was able to pull it out of the closet and rock it, I would be fashion forward because animal prints are the falls latest trend.

The best way to pull off animal prints is to do so sparingly: a shirt, a dress, a pair of shoes or even a purse one or two at a time of course. I tried a few animal prints out, so check out my pics below.


I saw these at one of my favorite shoe stores and I will be going back to get them.




Make-up play time: leopard





Make-up play time: zebra





Me and my husband at my b-day dinner, me in zebra print.

There is something exotic about wearing animal prints and I must admit I had a little extra swing in my step when I wore my zebra print tunic.

The client form: do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?

I love meeting my clients for the first time. They're always so excited and eager to get (for some of them) their first facial. Plus, the thought of getting in some "me" time isn't bad either. But, when I pull out my 30 question client form, I sometimes sense a little apprehension. "Wow, this is a lot of information," some of them say, or they just look big eyed at the paper until they're done.

Nobody likes filing out forms, believe me I know, but it is a necessary part of your treatment. As an esthetician, I'm not satisfied with just rubbing cremes and lotions on your face, I'm here to help you develop a skin care regimen that will leave you with self confidence and healthy skin.

The questions are simple; do you blush easily, are you prone to break outs, and the very important list of allergies. But, there are two questions that people often tell little white lies about when they initially fill out the form: how much water do you drink a day, how much caffeine a day and how much alcohol do you consume a week. I don't ask these questions to get all up in your business. I ask them to see if you may be dehydrating your skin from the inside out. Drinking alcohol dehydrates your body and for every cup of caffeine you drink, you should have 2 cups of water.

That is the last thing you want to be is dehydrated. Dehydrated skin is flaky and  more prone to wrinkles and it is a catalyst in skin sensitivities. Case in point: I love jewelry, but sometimes the fake stuff breaks me out. Well, one day I had a stone necklace on. It was bitter cold outside, I was fighting a cold and pure laziness prevented me from drinking my daily intake of water. By the time I got home, my lips were super chapped and I had this HUGE hive on my neck from the stones on my necklace. So I had to walk around the next day with my cracked lips and a lumpy neck. If I would have drank my water like I was supposed to, I wouldn't have had such a reaction to the cold and the fake necklace.

It never really dawned on me that people would have untruths on their client form until I had a client who wrote that she has 7-14 drinks a week. I asked her about it because I thought maybe she read the question wrong. But, she was happy to tell me that she drinks a glass of wine every night, and if it's been one of those days, she has two. So because of that I changed up her treatment a little bit to a deeper penetrating mask to fight the dehydrating effects of alcohol.

Telling little white lies really hurts only you because it stops the esthetician from fully understanding the treatment that fits best for you. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, it is what it is. So, because I like to lead by example, I promise that from now on I will only check off the statement "I exercise frequently" if it's true.

Keep your head to the sky

It was 11:58 pm, December 31, 2009 and I had my glass of wine in my hand, my family by my side and a wishful prayer in my heart: 2010 will be better than 2009. And you know what, it was. Maybe it was just luck. Maybe it was the rule of positive affirmation (what you send out to the universe comes back to you). Or maybe it was just God's grace. Whatever it was, this past year brought me so many good things.

I'm not really into making general New Year's resolutions like, eat healthier or lose 15 pounds by March (even though it's something I need to consider.)
Even though those things are good, I personally prefer to look back and make life resolutions that will help me to grow into the woman/wife/mother/daughter/friend/entrepreneur that I'm destined to be. Here are a couple of lessons I have learned along the way.

-Learn from your mistakes. You are human, you are not perfect, and you will make mistakes. The best thing you can do for yourself after you have messed up is think about what you could have done to make it better and do that instead, if the situation comes up again. If you keep on making the same mistakes, do yourself a favor and take yourself out of that situation cause it just ain't working for you.

- You are never to old. Now, I still stand by my belief that if you are beyond college age, the words "juicy" or "hot mama", should not be printed on your behind. There is an age appropriate rule for certain fashions and social scenes, no doubt. But, there is no age limit to fulfilling your dreams. You're never too old to go back to school, start a business, write a book, get married. Whatever you want to do, don't let your age stop you. Like the late Aaliyah sang, "age ain't nothing but a number."

- Take care of yourself. We usually can tell when something's wrong with us by the way we feel. Our body's whisper to us thru aches and pains and our skin gives us alerts with blemishes, rashes and hives. Don't let small whispers turn into a man on a bullhorn. Take care of your body so that it will take you further in life.

- Pray, then laugh. I'm not saying that right after you say "amen", you bust out in a hysterical laugh. (That might look a little bit crazy.) I believe that prayer strengthens your soul, while laughing despite your situation, confirms your faith in what you just prayed. Believe me, I know that every situation you go thru isn't funny, but when the sad feelings start to subside, laughter truly is the best medicine. Nine times out of ten, when we watch a movie at home, I vote for the comedy because it just makes me feel better. I tell my husband, "I'll watch a drama when I'm not going thru my own."

- Change is good. The only thing constant in the world is change. And I believe that God works thru change. Stop being so stuck on you and your routine that you miss out on the opportunities of life. As you are transforming to become the better you, learn how to go with the flow.

In this upcoming year, and the ones to follow, I'm going to continue to use these life lessons (and add some more as I go). I'm going to continue to keep my head to the sky and be ready for the blessings 2011 has to offer. 3...2...1....

Glam it up!

It's that time of the year again! Just like clockwork, along with shopping and preparing for holiday dinners is the swarm of holiday parties that go along with them. But, don't be overwhelmed, with a few simple make-up tips I can help you glam it up for your next holiday soiree.

Face- Whenever I'm going out and I'm trying to step up my game, I use a facial primer to help the appearance of my foundation look and feel smoother. My favorite primer is Sephora. I also use Dermalogica's Barrier Repair, because it is a non-water, non-oil gel that melts into the skin and leaves it velvety soft.

                                                   
   

Cheeks- I use bronzer everyday because I love the extra boost that it gives my cheeks. My bronzer, by Black Radiance has shimmer to it and it looks great in the sun and in photos. And if I do a natural eye, I step it up by adding a little bit of M.A.C. blush in Desert Rose.

                        

           

Lips- I'm normally a natural girl when it comes to lip color, but if there is ever a time to add a little red on your lips, it's the holiday season. Of course, every red is not for everybody. You may have to experiment to find the right color for your tone. For me, I combine a couple of colors and a gloss to get the right Diva Red and I only do that if I don't put any color on my eyes.

No, that's not me, but this color would look good on my skin, too.

                                            

Eyes- My eyes are my best feature (so I've been told), and I love doing fun things to make them stand out more. My skin complexion can take a lot of colors, so I do metallic and real shimmery eye shadows when I'm stepping out. A smokey eye with a little added shimmer is great, too. This is also the time where you can experiment with different shades of eyeliner. A deep forest green would be appropriate at this time. And, the showstopper to glammed up eyes is, and forever will be, big, bold lashes. If your a simple girl, Maybelene's Falsies Mascara is the must have product to amplify those lashes. But, if you're a diva like me, false lashes are the way to go. You can get them in all types of styles and the ones with rhinestones and feathers are so fun to accessorize with. My favorite is the half eye that gives me just the right amount of flair I need towards the ends.

I love bold colors.

                                                        



Half eye are 2nd row on the top.



Fun lashes.